


Thief, Rogue, and Spy Extraordinaire: A Companion Work to Life is a Pheonix

by Mayamelissa, SilentSlayer



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Humor, Inspired by Fanfiction, It complicated, Loyalty, Multi, Pregnancy, Promiscuity, We All Love Krem, questionable morals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 27,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5645464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayamelissa/pseuds/Mayamelissa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSlayer/pseuds/SilentSlayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Inquisitor Cordelia Trevelyan, soon to be Rutherford, as told from the perspective of one Christy Holliday, acting Spymaster of the Inquisition.<br/>Basically this will be some short scenes related from an outside POV about the events that occur in Life Began in Ashes. If you have not read Mayamelissa's delicious tale then this will not make any sense.<br/>We love Krem here people!! And we will be worshipping at the shrine of his fine ass. Also a little Alistair worship but that fades away in time.<br/>As always this is dedicate and inspired by my dearest friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Invitation

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Life Began in Ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277023) by [Mayamelissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayamelissa/pseuds/Mayamelissa), [SilentSlayer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSlayer/pseuds/SilentSlayer). 



> This was supposed to just be a gift to cheer my friend up and make her feel better. Against my better judgement I will post it at her request. I will update as plot bunnies attack me.

“Ma’am...MA’AM!” Holliday groaned as one of her spies knocked at the door. She uncurled herself from someone’s limbs as she rolled to the edge of the bed. James, that was the man’s name, James. Such a handsome…

“Ma’am it’s urgent!” That voice dragged her from her thoughts as a headache pounded in her temples. Wine, it was always the wine that did that to her. The fog of last night’s debauchery still hung heavily on her, and she cursed the early morning sun

“Do you want me to put on clothes or not? For Maker’s sake give me a damn minute.” The man outside chuckled at her response. A shirt was hastily tugged over her head and she searched in vain for her pants. If only she could remember where they were thrown.

“Holliday don’t go.” The commotion had woken James and he pouted as he watched her dress. Tousled brown hair and a tired grin greeted her. His brother John lifted himself up to look over James’ shoulder and shared the same dejected look. She had always had a thing for twins.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise. We aren’t done here yet.” She blew the boys a kiss before turning to continue the search for her clothes. Finally, her pants were located near the fireplace. She pulled them on before heading to see what had interrupted her plans for a nice morning romp.

“This better be important.” The door cracked open as she beheld the man in front of her. Her spy actually had the decency to look sheepish as he handed her a letter.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s from Varric Tethras of the Inquisition. It’s urgent.” Holliday’s eyes grew wide as she broke the seal of the letter. She hadn’t heard from the rogue in ages. It was safer to stay apart after their last adventure in Kirkwall. There were several chapters of Hard in Hightown dedicated to those escapades.

The parchment unrolled in her hand, and she smiled as she noted to even flowing script that could only belong to one dwarf.

 

_Heartbreaker this is Devilish Rogue:_

_Alright now that the formalities are out of the way, as acting temporary Spymaster of the Inquisition it is my duty to inform you that we have need of your services. The pay sucks, the work is hard, but there’s lots of lonely men and women for you to choose from. I could tell you how our cause is noble and you will be doing the work of the Maker, but I know what really interests you._

_I’m sure you will need a few days to prepare and settle any, loose ends, you have in Denerim. A letter has already been sent to King Alistair informing him of our need for you. I know he won’t be happy at losing his little informant, but I’m sure you will have the occasional opportunity to sneak away. I don’t know how you keep Queen Anora from killing you._

_But I digress, our time is short Holliday. You are needed in Haven at once, and I am assured that this is an opportunity you can’t refuse._

_My Regards,_

_Varric Tethras, ATS_

 

Damn that dwarf, he always knew how to get Holliday’s attention.

“Pack your bags boys, we are headed to the mountains.”


	2. The Million Dollar Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey Christy Holliday here, newly appointed Spymaster of the Inquisition. Decided to give you ladies a treat and let everyone know what was in those scandalous secret notes I passed out at my first War Council. I know you really only care about Cullen's, but I did all four just for posterity.   
> I have decided to write down my own version of these events because someone has to get it right (and we all know that scoundrel Varric will over exaggerate).

One week to prepare, one week to travel. It would have taken less time, but her King demanded Holliday wish him a proper farewell. She didn’t see the sun for two days. It was well worth it in her opinion. 

Her connections were able to provide her valuable information about her newest associates. Varric was a dear friend, but she trusted no one. She had to ensure that the Inquisition wouldn’t sully her good name. Reputations were paramount in her line of work. 

First and foremost, she dug into what had happened to the last Spymaster of the Inquisition. Alistair provided her with his limited knowledge of Leliana, and her boys filled in the rest. She pitied the woman, though couldn’t say she was sad at her demise. 

Holliday discovered several  _ shocking _ facts about the others she would be working with. All in all though, their secrets were mild at best. More of an embarrassment to them, and nothing compared to some of the things she had dealt with in the past. Varric was right, she couldn’t refuse.

*****

The journey to Haven was sadly uneventful. Some Venatori could have at least had the decency to attack so some fun could be had. She was regretful disappointed in that respect.

They crossed the bridge into Haven, and Holliday barked orders as her faction settled into the sleepy camp. When the Herald arrived shortly after, the dwarf couldn’t resist helping the poor girl. Retching was never fun. She couldn’t delay too long though, she had an entrance to make and a plan to execute.

*****

The War Council convened and she took in each of the people situated around the room. The dark skin beauty must have been Josephine, Cassandra was the one with arms crossed over her chest and a permanent scowl on her face, the Herald was looking much better, and the love-sick puppy holding onto her for dear life must have been Commander Cullen. She grinned at the image of his gentle hand on the small of Lady Trevelyan’s back. It was cute, if not slightly fluffy for Holliday’s taste.

“So if anyone wants to wonder if I’m cut out for this job, I have here few examples of just what I can offer.” Holliday handed them each a piece of parchment folded and sealed with a wax stamp bearing their names. She had plotted this part with the utmost care. “You know just a few tidbits of my ability to gather information.”

“Andraste’s Ass, did you really just do that shit again?” 

She gave Varric an innocent smile, but knew she was about to shake things up in her own unique way. “What? It’s anything a good Spymaster does. Especially one who’s working to make sure the Organization who hires her is.... adept.”

Holliday watched their reactions. The Commander was first, and she was not disappointed when he looked up at the dwarf with a horrified expression.

_ Tsk Tsk. Losing your virginity in a Kirkwall brothel? Probably best not to tell the new wife about Knight-Captain Rylen’s suggestions. _

Cassandra’s eyes were wide as saucers, and the Spymaster suppressed a giggle.

_ There’s a secret copy of  _ _ Swords and Shields: The Captain’s Desire _ _ waiting in your room. Varric never published it, but I think it will interest you.  _

Next was Josephine, her hand covering her mouth in shock as the hand holding her piece of parchment trembled.

_ The Dowager sends her regards and says she looks forward to the upcoming Celebration of Roses. She hopes you can sneak away from your duties for a little ‘private’ time with her.  _

Lastly was the Herald herself. Holliday had to work the hardest for this piece of information. Unlike the other’s this woman was squeaky clean. It was always easier when people people had a lot of dirty secrets.

_ Your father’s clan is named Lavallen and their aravels were last spotted near Wycome. _


	3. Letters From Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters written between King Alistair and Holliday before the Battle of Haven. Basically these two started having conversations in my head and I had to write it down. Plus I am a serious sucker for letter writing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ladies and gentlemen. Holliday here again. Not sure how these ended up in the story, but I guess they do fit into my version of the events. Plus Alistair likes hearing about himself, so enjoy!

_ Dear KA, _

__ _ Arrived to H without event. We have settled in nicely here. Was given the remainder of the former Spymaster’s men, as well as provisions for my boys. I trust my replacement is serving you well. If not you have only to let me know. _

__ _ The Commander is not the boy you described to me, but it has been a few years since you last saw him. You are getting old. I think senile age is addling your brain. I wonder if it will affect other things… _

__ _ The Lady seems like a sweet girl. Slightly worried she may be too sweet. But after hearing your account of her actions in Redcliffe, I will choose to have faith in her. Always liked a mage who could zap a bit of sense into people. _

__ _ The Pentegast is well, she’s one of her line for sure. There’s also a gorgeous Antivan here. You know I have a thing for those kind of women. I think you would rather approve.  _

_ It’s damn cold here. I have to thank you for the present. It has served me well. As always, you knew what I would need. _

_ Hopefully once things fall into a routine, I can sneak away for a few days. I’m sure you miss me. Try to be nice to QA while I am away.  _

_ Respectfully yours, _

 

_ HB _

_ ***** _

_ Seriously Holliday the runner is your most trusted man. The same one who always delivers letters between us. Can you drop the whole mysterious master spy act for once? It’s endearing and cute when you sneak through windows, but it took me forever to understand what you were talking about. And stop calling yourself Heartbreaker. I know your Rogue friend gave you that nickname, but I hate it.  _

_ I am glad to hear you made it safely. I worry about you being in the middle of all this. You always loved my tales of the Fifth Blight, but living through that kind of adventure isn’t always fun. I just hope no dragons are involved this time.  _

_ Your replacement is doing an excellent job. For Maker’s sake, don’t do something drastic like kill the poor man. He’s not you of course, but he performs his professional duties with skill.  _

_ As for me being senile, I will show you what this old man can do when you return to Denerim.  _

_ I’m pleased you liked the jacket. It was tailored just for you.  _

_ As for Anora, I think she misses you as much as I do. We have actually had to talk to each other since you’ve been gone. She wants you to have tea with her next time you are here. I told her I would think about allowing it.  _

_ Try to stay safe for once. You are needlessly reckless at times. We don’t need another repeat of Starkhaven now do we? I am still apologizing to Prince Vael.  _

_ Yours always, _

 

_ Alistair _

_ ***** _

_ Oh Void take you. I am a spy this is what I do. If you didn’t like it then you should have chosen someone else. As for Prince Vael, you shouldn’t have told me about his vows. You knew I would accept that as a challenge. Never met a man who could resist my charms, until that Chantry Boy came along.  _

_ Maybe I won’t worry with returning to Denerim ever. Plenty of warm bodies here. Don’t need to waste my time with some ancient asshole. _

 

_ HB _

_ ***** _

_ Now you are just being childish. Don’t make me march my army across Ferelden and drag you back. You know I will do it, Inquisition or not.  _

 

_ Alistair _

_ ***** _

_ You and your army can stuff it. I don’t have time for this. We close the Breach tomorrow and I have more important things to do. Besides, you are the most immature person I know. Can’t say I don’t like the threat though. It would be interesting to see you drag me kicking and screaming back to the Royal Palace.  _

 

_ Holliday _

_ ***** _

_ Be careful out there. You had better come back to me. _

 

_ Alistair _

  
The last letter never arrived to Haven. The runner returned it with grave news, and King Alistair spent many sleepless nights wondering what happened to his little informant. 


	4. From Humble Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Alistair wanted me to add in this part about how I became his right hand man...er woman. He thought everyone needed a little backstory on where I got my Spymaster skills. I still think he just wants to slip into my story as much as possible since he was stuck playing king and couldn't join in the adventure.  
> I'm not sure he's going to like this though. Hopefully he will just be deeply flattered instead of pissed.

Holliday remembered the first time they met like it was yesterday. The contract was the largest she had ever scored, and she trusted it to no one but herself. She had never killed a king before.

The originator of the hit was long dead now, but at the time Holliday had only seen the flash of coin. In the end, she got the coin and killed the poor bastard. But I digress. That is a story for another day.  


That night, Alistair was sleeping in his bed as she crept through the window. Shadows clung to her as a dagger appeared from her cloak. Silence was her confidant as she approached the newly crowned king. He was alone, his disdain for the Queen keeping her out of his bed.    


The blade felt light in her hand. It would be so easy to drive it through his bare flesh. She moved to quickly finish the job, but froze as a sliver of moonlight revealed his face. For the first time in her life, she hesitated.    


His soft blonde hair was sticking at odd angles, and there was a peaceful look upon him as he walked in the Fade. Her hand reached out of its own accord as one finger ghosted over his cheek. He sighed at the connection, and something stirred inside her that she thought long dead.

A soft whine escaped him as she drew her hand back. She sheathed her dagger and stood watching the deep rise and fall of his chest. The sight of him was mesmerizing. She found herself not wanting to leave his presence.   
Alistair rolled over, his eyes fluttering for a moment and Holliday knew she should run. This had gotten too personal, too fast. For Maker’s sake, he was her target. He was supposed to be dead.    


"What the?" His eyes shot open, and he jumped with a start as he noticed her. He flailed momentarily in fear, only tangling himself further in the sheets. She was professional enough not to giggle, but it took all of her restraint.    


"Oh calm down already." She rolled her eyes as her arms crossed over her chest. A loud  _ thump  _ met her ears as he fell from the bed onto the floor. This was seriously the King of Ferelden?   


"Get back!" He really was trying to looking threatening, but she couldn't stop her laughter as he sat there. His eyes scanned the room for a weapon, but she knew his sword was too far away to be of use to him. Palace living had made him soft.    


"If I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead. Now be quiet." She hissed the words, afraid that the guards might hear them. She wasn't going to tell Alistair what her intentions had been only moments ago.

"Th-then why are you here?" Tension still hung on him, but he softened slightly as he looked up at her. She could now see his features in their full glory. 

Brown, his eyes were brown and warm. There was just enough stubble on his chin to make him look much younger than his years. His skin was tan compared to hers. Maker have mercy, she needed to stop ogling him like that.   


"I'm not really sure anymore.” Holliday finally answered his question as she tore her eyes from him. “I should just go. I'm obviously not getting paid tonight." She turned to leave, embarrassment coloring her cheeks at her failure.    


"So you  _ were  _ going to kill me?" His voice was so quiet, and against her better judgement she stopped. He looked so small then, his brow furrowed in worry. "I knew Assassin's would come. I just didn't expect them so soon."   


She felt pity for him. He clearly hadn't been raised in this life. Maybe she should have killed him. If she didn't do it, someone else would soon enough. She would have at least made it quick and painless.   


"Just keep your window locked and a dagger close. You are seriously asking to die with being so lax." She didn't know why she gave him the advice. He wasn't her concern, and yet she spoke anyways.    


He stood then, drawing himself up to his full 6 ft 3 in frame, and she suddenly found a reason for him not to die. The sheets fell away from him, revealing a scarred chest and legs only covered by thin breeches. A true warrior's body. She couldn't breathe as he looked down at her. He actually made her feel tiny next to him.    


"Whatever they paid you, I will double it. I obviously need someone knowledgeable and who I know won't kill me. I think you would fill those requirements." She could have melted under that piercing gaze. The weak boy was gone, and finally she saw the stirrings of a king.    


"The name's Holliday, and I think you've got yourself a deal."


	5. A Special Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gonna give everyone on more little snippet of my backstory. It's usually hard for me to talk about the past, but this one was too cute not to share

Things were going well with their arrangement. Holliday had free range, though she refused to abuse it. Alistair set her up in a nice chateau near the Royal Palace, and in exchange she dispatched all who would oppose him. He provided for her men, she grew his connections. Both were infinitely pleased with the other. 

As weeks wore into months, she found herself more ingrained in his everyday life. She stood at his side during the most critical decisions, was his constant confidant on all affairs. Queen Anora was even won over to her charms, though even she could do nothing for the state of their marriage. 

One day, Holliday had an idea as she walked through the markets of Denerim. A vendor had an item of particular interest, and she just had to get it for King Alistair. 

She presented it to him that evening in the privacy of his room. It was wrapped in a sturdy box, and she even had the man add a bow. The King looked like a kid on his Name Day as he tore into the package. "I can't believe you got me something!" 

"You say that now, but you haven't seen it yet. Have I taught you nothing? It could be a trap." She giggled despite her words, her golden hair falling around her face. A heated blush crept up his cheeks as he finally saw what she had gotten him. 

"Is this....a plush mabari?" 

Holliday laughed in earnest now, though the king looked less than pleased. It took her several moments to recover but she finally spoke. "It reminds me of that first night. You looked like such a young boy. All that was missing was a plush mabari." 

His eyes darkened as she mentioned their first meeting. He grabbed her wrist, thumb circling her pulse there. "I will show you little boy..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Garbage for the mabari prompt


	6. After The Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy mother of Andraste. That battle for Haven was a nasty one. Glad we got so many people out alive, but sadly we had to leave one very special Herald there to fight that grotesque looking Elder One and his Archdemon. I haven't met many things in my life I was scared of, but that dragon makes my skin crawl.  
> Anyways, let ol Holliday show you what happened directly after the battle.

Holliday watched the avalanche fall. The Commander's strangled cries tried to stop it, but it was too late. Haven was buried beneath the snow. She felt pity for the man writhing in the Qunari’s arms.

They had saved so many, but the Herald's loss affected everyone. Even Holliday was moved by it.

"Poor girl," she sighed and tried to collect herself. There were still people to lead to safety, though her feet felt like lead.

"Hey Heartbreaker." Varric appeared beside her, seeking the comfort of his friend. The dwarf's features were grim, there was pain behind his eyes.

She said nothing as she took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. The hurt was raw in the air, but Cordelia’s closest companions were the most affected.

"I feel like I should help him somehow." Holliday followed his line of sight to the broken Commander. Varric had always been soft for lovers.

"I got something that might help if we can get it in him." A flask appeared in her hand and her friend's eyes grew wide.

"Are you trying to kill him?"

"For Maker's sake, no! I mean I guess if you gave him the whole thing it would kill him, but a few drops will just make him sleep. It's going to be hell trying to drag him through this snow." He considered Holliday's words but shook his head no.  

"It wouldn’t be right. Cullen trusts us. He will wake up upset _and_ pissed off if we did that to him. Best to let him deal with it now.” Holliday shrugged and put the sleeping draught back in her pouch. Like Varric she wanted to help the man that Bull had finally released, but she didn’t know how.

Cullen fell to his knees in the snow. His head hung low and his shoulders were shaking. Everyone moved away from him, giving him the respect he deserved as he dealt with his grief.

 _Poor sod._ The rogue thought to herself.

“She was a lucky girl. No one’s ever loved me that much.” Holliday spoke aloud to herself, but Varric overhead the words and patted her reassuringly on the shoulder.

“I hear a certain king…” She turned to the other Dwarf swiftly as her eyes flashed with anger. Alistair was always a sensitive subject with her.

“That King is married to his Queen. I am reminded of that fact often.” The Spymaster cut her friend off from speaking further.

Varric raised his hands in surrender, but had one more thing to say before he abandoned the subject. “When are you going to settle down, Heartbreaker? We aren’t as young as we used to be.”

Holliday was two seconds away from punching him in the jaw. He knew better than to needle her about her love life.

“Maybe I like where I am. We can’t all be like the women in your fantasies. Speaking of fantasies, have you heard from Bianca lately?” Her fist clenched at her side and Varric blanched at the mention of Bianca. He finally caught the hint and moved away quickly before things could deteriorate further.

“Damn meddling dwarf,” she muttered under her breath as she turned back to the refugees around her. She had work to do, but a small voice nagged in the back of her mind.

Seeing Cordelia and Cullen had made her long for things that she didn’t have. She had no illusion that their relationship was perfect (it _was_ an arranged marriage), but there was genuine love in the Commander’s eyes when he looked at the Herald. Holliday had never been the marrying type, but maybe it was time for her to pick someone out for herself.

_Don’t be silly. You have a good position in Denerim with perks. No reason to screw up a good thing. Maybe you can even visit him once this mess is sorted, or at least let him know you are ok._

The thoughts weren’t as comforting as they should have been, but she shook her head to clear her mind before making her way towards Cullen. Someone had to get him moving out of the snow before he froze to death.   

*****

The Commander was holding a small vial and Holliday’s eyes widened. She immediately knew what he was rolling around in his hand. Few knew of the Commander’s decision to quit taking lyrium, but Holliday was informed as always.

“Commander.” Her tone was stern and he briefly looked up from the swirling blue liquid. His eyes were red-rimmed, and she was thankful that no tears were there. She hated to see men cry.

“Holliday.” He nodded politely before returning to the object in his hand. Normally, she wouldn’t care, but she had grown attached to those around her over the last few weeks. When had she decided to start having feelings?

“Cullen,” hearing his name broke the spell the lyrium had on him. “Listen I know it’s tough, but you gotta snap out of it. Cordelia would want you to continue with your convictions. Our army needs its Commander. The people need you. Do this for her.”

He considered her words carefully and finally reached a decision. He stood, a determined look lighting his face. Holliday let out the breath she had been holding.

“I will go on, for her, but when this is done…”

“Hey we can think about that later. One step at a time, Commander.” She patted him on the back as the made their way to the front of the refugees. It was going to be hell keeping him from doing something stupid, but in memory of Cordelia she would make it happen.    


	7. Ma'am. I Like That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm over here trying to be depressed, but I meet someone new who piques my interested. Did I also mention that Holliday hates the snow? It's too cold in these damn mountains (sorry this new person has fried my brain and I'm rambling)

When Cordelia awoke, Cullen was there. Holliday had been standing by the fire, watching carefully. Like everyone else she was tense, waiting. She had given the lovers their privacy when the Herald finally opened her eyes. It wasn't polite to stare, and it only reminded her of the hole she had inside.

Cullen had been overjoyed when they found her in the snow. He carried her all the way back to their makeshift camp, never once acting like she was a burden. He refused to let anyone help him.

Holliday wanted to make a disgusted noise when Cassandra almost swooned from ‘how romantic’ it was. That Seeker had clearly read too many of Varric’s books.

The Spymaster walked away from the main group. It was too much, too many people. She needed some time alone to think.

Alistair deserved to know she was alive, but she hesitated to write him. It would waste resources to send him a letter, and Holliday was anything but wasteful. There was also a small part of her that had changed after Haven. She was different now, her feelings had shifted. She had never been unhappy before, but now she wondered what it would be like...

“I need to stop these ridiculous thoughts.” She spoke aloud to herself and shook her head. There was a pounding headache building, and she rubbed her temples as she tried to ignore the pain. She needed to focus on keeping everyone alive. Cullen was too busy playing fiancé and Josephine was useless in this situation. So much weight, so much pressure on her shoulders.

“You shouldn't talk out loud to yourself. People might think you're crazy.” She turned to see a man standing beside her. The accent was Tevinter, and Holliday finally recognized him as Krem. He was the Iron Bull’s lieutenant, and her reports had checked out on him.

If only he wasn't giving her that infuriatingly pleasant smile. It was too much for one dwarf to bear. Couldn't he see she was trying to wallow in self pity?

“Maybe I am crazy.” Her words made him only smile wider. She finally focused on him, and was surprised to find he was rather handsome. She had definitely spent too much time in the War Room if she missed this man walking around Haven.

“I don't think we have ever been introduced, though I'm sure the Spymaster of the Inquisition knows who I am. The name’s Cremisius Aclassi,  but the boys call me Krem.” He extended his hand, and Holliday decided to play along.

“Christy Holliday, at your service,” she gave him a firm handshake. “My friends call me Holliday. You can call me Ma'am.” The introduction was so routine now that she said it without thinking. His caramel eyes danced with mirth, and she found herself softening despite her earlier annoyance.

“Ma’am. I like that.” He didn't release her hand. Instead he brought it to his lips before gently placing a kiss there. Andraste preserve her, no man had ever done that before.

“I...um thanks.” When had Holliday become the stuttering type? She sounded like Cullen.

She shifted uncomfortably, heating creeping up her neck. It had been a long time since she had blushed.

“If you ever have a moment, I can introduce you to the boys. They're a sorry lot, but good fighters and always up for a pint.” He gave her a wink, and she had to look away. The moonlight shining off his armor was too bright, or at least that's what she told herself as an excuse.

“I will have to take you up on that offer.” His smile was genuine at her words. One finally brush of his fingertips as they let her go, and he was gone. Holliday kept staring at the space he had just occupied, and she found herself even more distracted from her duties now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get interesting, really interesting.  
> I hope everyone is enjoying the show. I know I enjoy writing it
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	8. A Bad Day, Or Is It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well Cordelia wanted to scout this new Skyhold place, so of course all of us roll out to accompany her.   
> Did I mention I hate the snow? I'm a dwarf and this is bullshit.   
> It all turned out good in the end though ;-)

The half-crazed elf named Solas had mentioned a fortress in the mountains, and of course everyone ran to the idea. Holliday had never trusted him, but he and the Herald were close so she was outnumbered. Seriously, who conveniently had a fortress stored in their back pocket? Especially one that the Spymaster had never heard of before. 

In truth, it had to be better than camping in the cold, but still something didn’t smell right to Holliday. Varric could call her paranoid all he wanted, but she hadn’t stayed alive this long by not listening to her gut. 

Maybe it was just her annoyance at the snow. Damn stuff was deep, and her short legs were having a hard time plowing through it. She tried walking behind that behemoth of a Qunari, but she still struggled. It was also cold, and she found her mind drifting back to her warm home in Denerim: a cozy fire, half naked men running around, Beth cooking her a nice hot meal. Yep, she should kill Varric for dragging her out here and into this mess. 

Holliday was so lost in her thoughts, that she misstepped and slipped backwards. She tumbled several feet before unceremoniously landing face down in a snowdrift. This was seriously not her day.

With a lot of effort and struggling, she finally unwedged herself from being stuck. Her clothes and hair were now soaked, and she blushed deeply as she looked around. If the Maker was merciful, no one saw her. Of course, this was her bad day after all and one person took notice. 

“Are you alright, Ma’am?” Krem trotted up to her as she tried to brush the snow off that still clung to her clothes. There were even a few flakes hanging off her eyelashes. Why did beautiful men always have to take notice when she made a fool out of herself? 

“My pride hurts, but that’s about it.” Holliday tried to return his smile. She was sure it just came off as a sneer though. It was so hard for her to act natural around Krem, and she didn’t understand why. 

“I’m glad you are alright. I’m sure it’s tough for you in all this snow. Do you mind if I walk with you?” It was annoying that he saw her weakness, yet she was touched by his offer. His hand extended to her, and she considered it for only a moment before grasping it with her own. 

“Ok, but if you tell anyone about this I will cut you while you sleep.” It was a joke, sort of. Krem laughed like it was funny anyways. Why did she revert to threatening when she was embarrassed?

“Spies, always the same.” They started trying to catch up with the others as Krem spoke. Holliday could only assume he was talking about his employer as well as her. 

“I’m sure it’s interesting working for a Ben-Hassrath.” She was just trying to make small talk. Well, she was also trying to find out more information. It was her job after all.   

“The Chief is a great guy. He takes care of us, treats us fair. Working for him’s better than the life I had in Tevinter.” There was a story there. Holliday could sense it. She didn’t press Krem though. It would be impolite to prod too much, and she really didn’t want to push him away. Sooner or later she would discover his secrets.

“Well as long as he’s good to you.” She looked off to the mountains as she spoke. Krem’s hand still held hers, and she was trying not to focus on that fact too much. His warm touch was melting things that she didn’t want to think about right now. 

“There’s only one drawback to being a Charger.” Something danced in Krem’s caramel eyes and Holliday just had to satisfy her curiousity. 

“What’s that?”

He regarded her for a long moment, and she wasn’t sure he would answer her. He looked so serious, but then that lovely smirk crossed his features. “His puns are terrible. He thinks he’s a lot funnier than her really is, but don’t tell the big oaf I said that.” 

Holliday laughed, a full rolling sound. Krem joined in, and she had to hold her sides from how hard she giggled. That was not what she expected. 

“I promise, your secret’s safe with me.” She gasped as she tried to catch her breath, and she was sad to see their connection had been broken. Her hand still tingled from where he had held it. 

Krem grew serious as he leaned in closer. His voice was barely a whisper. A shiver crawled across Holliday’s skin that had nothing to do with the cold, and everything to do with the man’s nearness. “He saw us talking the other night. He...well he told me I shouldn’t speak to you anymore. Never seen then Chief worried about anything, but you make him nervous.”

“I guess you decided to ignore his command?” Holliday raised an inquisitive eyebrow, and his only response was a slight red tint on his skin. She was sure he didn’t normally disobey his leader. 

He was only inches away, and it was very distracting. She could smell the scent of mint and leather that radiated off his skin. She reached up to softly touch his cheek, her calloused fingers brushing against smooth skin. His eyes grew wide, but he didn’t attempt to pull away.

“I think I can make my own decisions.” He turned his face to let his lips ghost against her palm, and Holliday felt her pulse quicken. She had gotten herself into a real mess this time. The scariest part was that she didn’t want it to end. 

“Krem! Holliday!” Damn it all! Cullen trotted up to them as he called their names. He froze when he saw the position he had caught them in. They had clearly forgotten about the others as they stood there talking.

“I...um...Cordelia was worried when you two disappeared.” Holliday finally remember herself and drew her hand back as she moved a few feet away from Krem. She wasn’t sure who was blushing worse, her or Cullen. The Commander was clearly as uncomfortable as she was.

“I’m sorry. We were just talking.” She shuffled her feet in the snow. Why did she feel like a love-struck teenager again? This was worse than that time Uncle Arlen caught her with that stablehand. 

“Right well. I will inform everyone that you are alright.” Cullen quickly turned and left as if a demon was chasing him. It would have been funny, if Holliday wasn’t so deeply mortified. 

“That wasn’t awkward at all.” She rubbed her temples as she huffed. Krem didn’t seem phased though, and he closed the space between them as he returned to her side.

Holliday didn’t fight when his strong arms wrapped around her waist and drew her to him. He held her with a deep reverence, and she had never known her heart to pound so loudly. His handsome features mesmerized her, and she allowed her hands to rest on his shoulders. Maker’s breath, he was looking at her as if she was the only woman in the world.

“Has anyone ever told you how cute you look when you blush?” He chuckled as he asked her the question, and her mouth went dry. For once in her life, Holliday didn’t have a comeback. He was so warm, and inviting. Yet he was also sweet and gentle. No man should be that perfect.

“Nu uh.” Her eyes were fluttering closed. She was losing herself in him. Her response wasn’t the most intelligent, but right now she didn’t care. His lips looked so soft, and she desperately wanted to know what they tasted like.

“Well then I’m glad to be the first.” Why was he smirking with such satisfaction? He should be busy doing other things with that mouth. 

He finally leaned forward, and Holliday stopped breathing. The kiss was light, like a fleeting summer’s breeze. It left her wanting more, but Krem was ever the gentleman. Since when had she started liking the noble types? 

“Krem, please.” She hated resorting to begging. The impropriety of it all hardly mattered at this moment though. She wanted something, and she was going to get it.

“Whatever you want, Ma’am.” This time it was everything she craved. He was still gentle, but more of his own desire slipped in. His tongue touched her lips, asking for permission, and she gladly opened for him. He tasted mellow and rich, like the finest Teviner wine. She craved more and more of him. It was sinful, and yet heavenly at the same time. 

She whined when he pulled away. Her fingers were still toying with his short brown hair, and they were both out of breath. He cupped her cheek, and the pad of his thumb brush over her swollen lips. 

“We should get going, before someone else comes looking for us.” She hated to admit he was right, but they did need to leave. They were far from finished though.

Her bad day had turned into a rather eventful one, and she had never been so happy to make a complete idiot of herself.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maya, I know I surprised you with this one. I think you will love it though.  
> Froggy, love ya chick. You seriously helped me tonight and encouraged me to keep writing even when sleep was calling. (Work is gonna suck today but that's ok)  
> Anyways, Krem is hot and I love him so all hail the Krem!!!!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	9. The Past Comes Back to Haunt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter arrives for me. It's from Denerim, and I have to settle some old business. Andraste preserve me. I hope Krem can understand.

Things were going well in Skyhold. Josephine obtained money from Maker knew where, and the repairs were shaping up nicely. Cordelia’s apartments and the Main Hall were the top priorities, but the dwarf had plans for her own quarters in the rookery. It wouldn’t do for there to be a hole in the floor. Throwing wild parties in places like that ended up in a high death toll and too many questions. She was also going to need a muffling ward, but she was sure Dorian owed her a favor.  

Holliday stretched as she leaned up from the plans on the table before her. Her neck ached from hours of work. Viv and Josephine could play interior decorators, but there was real work to be done. Stone work was dwarf work. Besides, the Commander was the only one who could have helped, and he was too busy fussing over Cordelia. The dwarf was again left holding the fort down. How the two of them could be so sappy in their love was beyond...

“Ma’am…” Krem snuck up behind her, and she smiled as rough hands came to rest on her neck. Ok, maybe having someone wasn't such a bad idea. She understood the Inquisition's love birds a little better now.

He worked out her tension with a gentle massage, and she tried not to groan from how glorious it felt. She still wasn't really sure where the two of them stood.

When the Spymaster could spare a moment, the man was always there waiting. They talked for hours, and shared many tender kisses. He spilled his secrets, telling her of how he became a Charger, and that he was what the Iron Bull called ‘Aqun-Athlok.’ Holliday hated the Qunari term. To her Krem was just Krem. For the first time in her life she was getting to know someone before shagging them senseless. She was obviously losing her mind. Since when did she have feelings other than lust?

“If you keep doing that I may have to hire you permanently,” she said as her eyes closed against the assault of his fingers. Krem chuckled before giving her a reply.

“I think I would like that, ma'am.” His breath tickled her skin as he whispered close to her ear. His lips almost brushed against her, and heat flared to life in the pit of her stomach. He would be the death of…

“A report for you, ma'am.” Holliday flushed pink, and her eyes snapped open. Krem moved away from her as she faced the soldier who had dared to interrupt one of her few stolen moments.

Jim, that insufferable Jim. Since the Commander had been busy playing baby daddy, the scout now irritated her constantly with reports. She thought the man actually seemed to enjoy annoying her.

“This better be important…” Holliday growled out the words as she snatched the report from his hand.

“It's from Denerim, ma'am.”

 _Shit_! This was bad. She might have neglected writing King Alistair over the last several weeks. She knew he deserved to hear something, but she wasn't sure what to say.

_Hey KA I found this man and yeah...So, won't be coming back to Denerim anymore. Thanks for the memories._

Yeah, that would sound as bad on paper as it did in her head.

Her face paled as she broke the official seal. The wax held the insignia of the king, and she tried not to let her hand shake as she unrolled the parchment and started reading. Being nervous was a new sensation, and an ominous tingle crawled over her. Something was terribly wrong.

Her eyes grew wide as she finished the letter. She felt slightly nauseated. The ground was spinning, and Krem’s strong hands steadied her as he sensed her unease.

“Ma'am! A-are you alright?” He stuttered with concern, his brown eyes searching hers for assurance. She gave him a weak smile, the summons still clutched in her hand.

“I'm fine but...you should go, Krem.” Holliday’s voice fell. She couldn't face him right now. It wasn't right to him, and in a rare show of emotion, she cared about him being hurt by her past.

He was confused, and something akin to pain showed in his eyes. She needed him, and he wanted to stay. “Whatever it is, tell me. You can trust me.”

Trust is what got her in this mess in the first place. She shook her head no, steel resolve snapping into place. Jim had been smart enough to make himself scarce as the two faced off.

“I told you my secrets. I had hoped you would show me the same honesty.” Krem was angry as he released her. Holliday hated to do this, but it was for his own good. She had to take care of things in Denerim. She was bound to another life, and she would end that one before a new one began.

“I have to leave for a bit, Krem. But I promise when I return I will tell you everything.” She rubbed her temples as she reassured him. At least the world around her wasn't moving anymore. Now if only she could stop the ache in her heart.  

“I will hold you to your word, ma'am.” Sadness crossed his features as he bowed his head. Her hand was unsure as it reached to him. Fingertips grazed his arm, and he sighed under her touch.

“Only a few days, and then everything will be right. I just need a little time.” He nodded to her before turning to leave. He had nothing left to say. She had pushed him away, and it stung worse than anything he had ever known. 

Holliday went back to staring at the words written by the King. This was not going to be the most fun she had ever had.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Missjapplez. You made me love Krem even more after reading your series today, 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	10. Break Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man this business with Alistair is bad. I gotta talk to somebody, and there is only one person I can trust.  
> Hopefully her lover boy doesn't find out about it.

There was only one person Holliday could speak to about this. The Herald could be trusted, and she had to let someone know she was disappearing. The dwarf certainly didn’t want to have this conversation with Josephine or Cassandra, and Andraste preserve her if she had to talk to Cullen.

Cordelia’s makeshift quarters came into view, and thankfully Warden Blackwall was on guard duty right now. It was easy to distract that man. He always fell for Holliday’s tricks.

“Warden Blackwall, so pleasant to see you today,” a sly smile crossed her features as she purred. His eyes grew wide as he looked down to her, a slight blush on his cheeks.

“My Lady, the pleasure is all mine.” The dwarf loved how just the sight of her made him shift uncomfortably, but she was on a mission and didn't have time to play today. Plus, looking at another man made her think of Krem, and that subject was just too painful.

A gentle hand was placed on his forearm, and Holliday felt him tremble under her touch. She was all sugar and sweetness as she gazed at him through her eyelashes. “Go take a break, ser. I can watch over the Herald for a bit.”

Blackwall made to protest, but it died on his lips. He had been assigned this job, but surely it would be ok if the Spymaster was giving him leave.

“Thank you, my lady.” She winked in response, and he found himself hurrying away before he did something drastic.

*****

Holliday turned from the retreating man, a satisfied smile on her face. “Works every time,” she giggled before stepping inside to see Cordelia.

Currently, she was sitting in a chair by a small makeshift table, thumbing through the pages of some book that didn't look particularly interesting. The woman had to be bored out of her mind.

“Have you come to remind me why I have to stay stuck here?” Irritation flashed briefly in Cordelia’s eyes as she looked up. Holliday winced, just a little.

“Actually I came to bust you out of this joint. I would go mad being trapped like this.”

The other woman soften, and then she got excited. “Oh! Finally someone let's me out of my prison! But won't Cullen…”

“The Commander doesn't have to know. Come on it will be fun.” Holliday hadn't really had much time to spend with the Herald outside of their official duties. She did rather like the woman though, and she actually wanted Cordelia to like her in return.

“Then let me get my coat.” The dwarf just smiled as she watched the Herald get ready to leave. What could possibly go wrong?

*****

“So, what is this about, really?” Cordelia raised an eyebrow at Holliday, and the dwarf let out a heavy sigh. It seemed the Herald was more perceptive than she had given her credit for.

They were now walking along the outer wall after successfully getting past the guards at the gate. There had been a dark skinned man covered in tattoos there, and Cordelia had quietly whispered that he was Knight-Captain Rylen. Holliday tried not to stare. Staring had gotten her into enough trouble lately.

“What? You don't believe that I helped you escape out of the goodness of my heart?” The dwarf feigned hurt and Cordelia snorted, “It's about King Alistair isn't it?”

Those words made Holliday stop, ice running through her veins. Maker damn that dwarf Varric. She had sworn him to secrecy.

“I have no idea what Varric has told you about Alistair and me…” She growled out the words as her fist clenched. Cordelia looked worried and held her hands up defensively.

“No one told me anything. Well, that's not entirely true. Varric said you worked for the King, and that you still had duties in Denerim. I was unaware of anything... _else._ ” The Herald gave her a knowing look, and Holliday was mentally kicking herself. She gave her own secret away. What kind of fucking Spymaster was she? This damn letter had her really screwed up.

“Well, let's just say it's complicated and leave it at that. I don't like discussing it, and I _hate_ people knowing.” Cordelia nodded before Holliday continued, “I got a letter today...an urgent summons to return. I may have been avoiding someone since the battle of Haven. It would appear he finally found me.”

Cordelia’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape before she smiled. “Would that have anything to do with a certain Charger?” It was nice for the drama not to be surrounding her for once. It made her feel more normal that other people were having problems too.

“That's another severely complicated matter. I...well I'm not exactly the committing type. I need to sort out whatever awaits me in Denerim before I can deal with things back here. Hopefully, this will be my last trip.” Holliday pushed her hair from her face as she let out a frustrated huff. Since when did life have to be so damn complicated? She blamed Krem, and yet she still craved those warm caramel eyes.

“Well, whatever happens, I'm sure it will all work out for the best.” Cordelia gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. The dwarf was thankful that she had confided in the Herald. She needed someone to talk to about this mess that was her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Blackwall. I abuse him so.  
> Also dammit Holliday. Why you gotta let the cat out of the bag? What kind of spy are you? *makes a disgusted noise worthy of Cassandra*   
> As you know, my dearest Maya will not be posting anymore chapters of Ashes until February. I too will be holding back until then. As she updates so will I. Thank you to everyone who reads and enjoys this. Things are about to get rather angsty in here. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	11. Important Decisions and Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone for my extended abscence. Holliday is back, and I bring you the decision of the advisers when we chose Cordelia as Inquisitor. Also some personal stuff, basically everyone finds out what was in that letter Alistair wrote me.

“So we are all agreed then?” Holliday eyed each of the other members in turn. Cassandra, Cullen, and Josephine all nodded their consent. On the table before them laid a sword, the one they would present to Cordelia once she accepted her role as Inquisitor. 

The vote had been unanimous, Cordelia had been their leader from day one. There was no one else worthy of the title. 

“I think we should make a ceremony out of it.” Josephine tapped her clipboard with a quill as she spoke, and Holliday stifled a groan. It was unwise to give that woman and ounce of free range over this. 

“Isn’t a wedding being planned? I think the Herald already has enough going on without being paraded around like some prized pony,” Holliday growled and the Antivan backed down. 

They had kept Cordelia locked up in those tiny quarters, and now they wanted to bring her out and prance her around. Did they forget that she was a person and not an animal? Even Cullen had failed her in that respect. For Maker’s sake, the woman was just pregnant, not dying. 

“If this is settled, then I think we can break for now.” The dwarf ran her hand through her hair as everyone shuffled from the makeshift war table. She stayed behind though, needing to calm her thoughts before she stepped back outside.

The matter of Inquisitor had to be settled before she left for Denerim. She had told no one else of her plans, not even Varric, and Cordelia and Krem had kept their silence out of respect. 

“Krem…” She breathed out the man’s name as her heart ached. Every since she had received Alistair’s letter, he had avoided her. She knew she should tell him what was going on, but she felt ashamed. It wasn’t a feeling she was used to, and it only confused her further. 

The summons was in her pocket. The paper was soft, like cloth, from being unfolded and read so much. She pulled it out once more, eyes scanning the familiar words that were already memorized.

 

_ Lady Holliday of the Inquisition, _

 

__ _ It has been many weeks since we last heard from you. I am glad to have discovered that you are alive and well. Thankfully, the man you left in my service is adept in discovering things that you wish to stay hidden. _

_ I request your presence in Denerim immediately. There are urgent matters of business that we need to discuss. Please do not delay in answering my summons.  _

 

_ Respectfully, _

 

_ King Alistair _

 

This was bad, really really bad. Alistair was never this formal with her. Had he found out about Krem? Was he just angry at her for ignoring him? The words were so unlike the king she knew. A shiver crawled up her spine as she folded the note and slipped it back into her pocket. Whatever awaited her at Denerim, it didn’t bode well. 

“Maybe I should leave a letter just in case,” she wondered aloud to herself. She didn’t think Alistair would have her killed, but anything was possible. It wouldn’t be the first time he had eliminated someone for being disloyal, though she was usually the one holding the blade.

Holliday wasn’t afraid to die, she had faced death many times. Her only regret would be never looking into those warm brown eyes again as she kissed Krem.

“For Maker’s sake, quit being such a romantic. Get a hold of yourself woman!” Luckily, not one was around to hear her ranting. She finally pulled herself together before exiting the War Room. Now wasn’t the time for losing her mind.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written for the glory of MayaMelissa!!!!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	12. Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'n heading out for Denerim, but I get caught red handed before I leave.

Holliday snuck through Skyhold, cloaked by the night's darkness and her silent movements. No one saw her as she moved through the keep. She was a professional for Maker’s sake, if she wanted to be invisible then it would be so.    


She arrived at the stable, thankful to find Master Dennet absent from his post. The man would ask questions, and Holliday couldn't answer them. Leaving during such a critical time would be viewed negatively, but she had to go. She only hoped she would make it back for the wedding. Cordelia would be devastated if she missed her big day. 

“Gah! Since when do I care,” she spat as she slung her small pack over her horse. Spies weren’t supposed to have emotions, and yet she knew she cared for the Inquisitor and others around her. 

Damn feels getting to her.      


The stallion neighed loudly and she patted his neck. “It’s alright, Sombre. Sh boy we are going home soon.” She winced as she realized Denerim wasn’t home anymore, not for her. 

He quieted under his mistress’ hand, bowing his head so she could give him a good rub.. He had been an extravagant gift from Alistair, specially trained so that the dwarf could ride him bareback and with no bridle. The beast would even kneel down so she could mount him without needing a stepstool.   


That had been what, on their fifth anniversary? Hell Holliday couldn't remember anymore, and she didn't want to.   


As she climbed on Sombre’s back, a shadow stepped in the doorway, and Holliday froze at the sight. 

Krem's arms were across his chest, a scowl on his face. Holliday cursed under her breate, knowing she had been caught.    


"Sneaking away without telling me goodbye?" He asked with a dark chuckle. An unreadable expression was on his face as he moved closer to her. She tried not to blush under his scrutinizing gaze.   


"I'm sorry, Krem. I just-" _ couldn't face your pain when you discovered I was sneaking away to see someone I shouldn’t. Yeah, not going to tell him that. _   


"Let me go with you," he pleaded. Shock crossed her features as he looked up at her, the need to protect her burning in his caramel eyes. She was touched by his concern, but Denerim was the one place Krem didn’t need to be.      


Her words were flat as she rejected his request. "I can't do that, Krem. You cannot go with me."   


"Then it's true- what the Chief said,” he stuttered as pain crept into his chest, sinking its claws deep into his heart. “He told me you and the king were-" Krem dropped off, his head bowed as he avoided her.   


Damn that Qunari. When Holliday got back she was going to kill him. "I am- _ was _ King Alistair’s Spymaster. Anything else is no longer of consequence,” she said with determination. He looked so defeated, and she softened as her fingers slid under his chin. She tilted his head up so she could gaze into those beautiful eyes. Maker damn that gorgeous face: it always made her forget herself.

“Now all I want is to be free. There's...I now have someone who I care for deeply, and I want to be his and his alone." Holliday allowed the admission to slip. She wasn’t ready to confess her feelings fully, but she wanted him to know that he was never far from her thoughts.

“Well that’s good, ma’am, because the one you care for will miss you while you are gone.” He chuckled as his features softened, his earlier worry slipping away. Holliday cared for him, and nothing else mattered.

When he reached up to grasp her wrist lightly, she did not hesitate to leaned down and place a tender kiss on his lips. She sighed from the connection, knowing she would need to remember this moment in the coming days.     


"Just promise you will come back to me," he whispered as his fingertips danced along her jaw line.   


"I promise, Krem. I will always come back to you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Krem! Thank is all
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	13. One Final Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I...really don't want to talk about this one. It still hurts a little.

The air in Denerim felt different. There was an excited buzz that made Holliday feel uncomfortable. This wasn't the city that she remember, and she listened in to the conversations around her as she rode through the streets.

“ _Yes._  My sister told me just yesterday, you know she's a cook in the Royal Palace-”

“They say Queen Anora was practically _glowing_ -”

“I wonder if it's a boy-”

That last one made Holliday feel sick, and she spurred Sombre on to get away from the crowd. A feeling of dread was crawling across her skin. What in the Maker’s holy name was going on in this place?

The horse stopped near the familiar stable, kneeling down to let her dismount. She handed his reins to a nearby boy, not pausing to thank him as she stomped off towards Alistair's personal chambers.

“Lady Holliday, glad you could finally join us.” Remy appeared beside her, the man she had left as Spymaster when she took the job in Skyhold. He practically bounced with joy as he started walking with her. She trusted the man completely, but damned if he didn't have an overly sunny disposition. That's why she hadn't been that remiss at leaving him behind.

“Status report, Remy.” She demanded as she began to climb the stairs.

“W- well ma'am,” he stammered as the bright look on his face dimmed. She shot him a warning glare and he straightened before continuing. “King Alistair has requested that I not say. He wants to tell you in person.”

Well shit, this really was bad.

The door to the King’s room finally came into view, and it didn't slip her notice when Remy silently disappeared. Whatever was waiting for her in there was for her and her alone.

She sighed heavily as she knocked on the door. She didn't have to wait long before a familiar voice called to her.

“It's open.”

Holliday stepped in his room, a space that she knew as well as her own. Alistair was sitting at his desk, a report in his hand. He threw her a casual glance, but then did a double take as he realized just who had stepped in his office.

“Hey.” _Great job oh Miss ‘Queen of the Spies’. You seriously couldn't think of anything else to say?_ she thought as she winced.

“Hey,” His voice was like velvet over her skin. She tried to remember a pair of caramel eyes, but it was difficult when the King’s were so similar to the man’s she left back in Skyhold.

“I- uh…” Well this was perfect. She was now turning into a blubbering mess. There was an apology for disappearing hidden in there somewhere, but it died as Alistair stood and started walking towards her.

“I'm glad you're alright. I was really worried about you.” His face held concern, and she knew his words were true. She hadn't really thought about how her disappearance would effect him.

“Listen Alistair, I'm sorry. I couldn't exactly get a letter to you while I was in the Frostbacks. And once I got to Skyhold, things got- complicated.” Yeah, that was a good way to put it.

“Holliday,” it always made her skin tingle when he drawled out her name like that. He kneeled before her, peering into her blue eyes before continuing. “I know, about the man you have been spending time with. Don't kill Remy, but he found out for me.” Well at least he didn't seem angry about Krem, though Holliday was furious.

“That little-” Alistair cut her off immediately before she marched off to do exactly what he told her not to.

“You left him as _my_ Spymaster, remember? He was just doing his job.” That was a good point, so Holliday filed away her irritation for another moment.

“So you aren't mad?” She raised an eyebrow at him and he only chuckled in response.

“Oh, I was furious at first. I almost rode to Skyhold to challenge him personally, but things changed.” His voice fell, and that feeling of unease started creeping across her skin once more.

“Alistair, what's going on?” she asked as her eyes narrowed. She had never been one to play games, and this whole business had her feeling queasy.

This time, it was the King who stuttered as he spoke. “W- when you didn't come back...you have to understand I was pretty tore up. And Anora, she was there-” OK so he slept with his wife? Big deal. Holliday slept with lots of people.

“Anora's pregnant.”

“Wait, _what?_ I don't think I heard you right.” There was no way on this Maker damned earth that she heard Alistair correctly. Everyone knew the Queen was barren.

“I know you heard me. Anora and I are having a child,” he repeated with a slightly sad smile. He had been bursting with excitement when Anora told him the news, but he had dreaded this moment. A new part of his life was beginning, but there were things in the old life that he would miss.

“Well I guess congratulations are in order,” she said flatly. Holliday wasn't really sure how she felt. A part of her was happy for them, Alistair and Anora had always wanted children, but she also felt slightly nauseated. She knew he would make a good father, and now that would be his sole focus. There would be no more room for a dwarf Spymaster in the Royal Palace, and Maker knew she didn't want to intrude on that parade.

“I'm glad you're taking this well. Anora was worried you might do something crazy. She made me lock the window.” She was touched by the Queen’s thoughtfulness, but also irritated. It was hard to be upset with the woman when she was being kind.

“I...if that is all I guess I should leave.” She turned away from him. She was not the crying type, and there must have been something in the air, because her eyes were watering.

“WAIT!” Alistair grabbed her wrist and spun her around to him. His eyes were wild, a desperate look on his face. “I know you have a thing with this _Krem_ guy now, but can you stay with me? Just one final night?”

Holliday had never been able to say no to that face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I need to go cry a little. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	14. The Last Morning in Denerim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about last chapter. I hate it when I catch the feels. This isn't much better, but at least it has stopped hurting so much. Anyways, this is your favorite Spymaster reminding you that the fun isn't over yet.

Queen Anora had requested that Holliday visit her before departing from Denerim. The dwarf had wanted to leave first thing in the morning, but she could not deny the woman this. They had always been fast friends, and there was no reason to break that just because the Queen was now pregnant- with Alistair’s child. 

Maker’s breath, it still seemed surreal. And here Holliday had thought she was going to be the one breaking hearts in the Royal Palace. It would have been funny if she wasn’t the butt of the joke. 

At least Alistair had given her a nice parting gift. The soldiers and all their trappings were currently preparing to leave in the courtyard. Ferelden was secured in an alliance with the Inquisition. Cullen would be pleased with the influx of skilled warriors, though they did her little good. Men in armor made too much noise for her line of work. 

“When this is all done, I think I’m running away to Starkhaven. Or Wycome. Somewhere far away,” she muttered as she approached the Queen’s personal chambers. She knocked on the door despite her strong compulsion to just leave.

“Come in,” Anora’s familiar voice called as the dwarf opened the door The Queen was sitting in one of her chairs, and Holliday was glad she had yet to start showing. She didn’t think she could stand it if the other woman actually  _ looked _ pregnant. 

Speaking of pregnancy, it was like an infectious disease around her. First the Inquisitor, now Anora. Holliday was glad she couldn’t catch it. That problem had been taken care of long ago by her mentor. Master Spies couldn’t afford to have children. 

“Lady Holliday, I am so glad you came to see me.” Her voice was calm, and the dwarf found herself relaxing. No matter what issues the King and Queen had previously shared, it had never affected her relationship with either of them. 

“You seem to be doing well, my Queen.” Holliday gave a formal bow even though it was not necessary. Anora had clearly beaten her in this game, though the victory had not been intentional. 

“I am, though the morning sickness can be awful. Please, have a seat. I want to hear all about your adventures. Alistair tells me there is a new young man in your life.” She was genuinely excited as she patted the seat next to her. Holliday would be sorely missed, and the Queen hated to see her leave though she understood. She hoped her friend would continue to write though, and that she would remain safe during her travels. 

They spoke at length about the Inquisition and even Krem. It hurt Holliday to speak of the man, she knew she had betrayed him in some small way. Even though they were not officially together, he still wouldn’t like what had happened here. That was another mess for another day though. 

“He sounds wonderful,” said Anora with a dreamy expression. The dwarf was inclined to agree with her. “All the diplomats that come from Tevinter are nothing but painted up wolves in human clothing. I’m glad this Krem isn’t like that though.” 

Both women laughed, Holliday having to clutch her sides to catch her breath. Of the many things in Denerim she would miss, her conversations with Anora had to be at the top of the list.

“Holliday listen.” Anora’s voice had taken on that tone that the dwarf had been hoping to avoid. “I’m sorry- about all this.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You are having a baby. You should be happy.” She placed a comforting hand on the Queen’s shoulder. Sometimes it was hard to keep her careful mask in place. 

“I know, and I am happy about the baby. I just wish you could stay here as well.” Anora bowed her head forward, lines of worry creasing her face. She hated that it had to be this way.

“It’s not like I’m dying or anything. My men will still be here, and I swear you and Alistair and however many children you produce will have my protection for as long as I live. Plus, I couldn’t stand it if I had to take Remy back with me,” she said with a slight chuckle. Anora gave her a soft smile, her gratitude clear in her eyes. 

“Thank you, for everything.” 

The dwarf only nodded as they slipped into a comfortable silence. It was a fitting end for her last morning in Denerim.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I hate Anora, but for plot reasons I made her friends with Holliday this go around. Hope everyone is enjoying the ride because it's about to get bumpy.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	15. The Return of the Dwarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really proud of this but hey, shit happens. This is my illustrious return to Skyhold

The doors to the War Room swung open revealing the missing Inquisition Spymaster. Holliday had dark circles under her eyes from days with no sleep. Her hair was wild and matted, and the smell of alcohol was strong on her skin. She looked like a trainwreck. The ride back from Denerim had not been kind to her.

“On behalf of King Alistair and Queen Anora,” she began with a hiccup. Everyone in the room paused, the eyes glued to her. “I come bearing gifts for the soon to be wed. Two hundred of Ferelden’s finest warriors, mounts, weapons, and several chest ladened with gold.” She swung slightly and used the table to support herself as she finished speaking. 

“W-why would Ferelden’s King send such fine gifts?” ask Josephine with a shocked expression. Holliday looked up to Cordelia, and as their eyes locked, realization hit the Inquisitor. 

“The Spymaster and I need to speak in private for a moment.” Cullen looked to her unsure, his hand squeezing hers tightly. Holliday wanted to vomit from how cute it was. 

“Commander Cullen can stay. It would not do well to hide things from your soon-to-be husband.” Cordelia nodded and Cullen looked relieved. Holliday noted there was a slight roundness to the Inquisitor’s stomach, though it was just barely there. She could only image that was making the Commander’s overprotectiveness worse.  

“My Lady Ambassador, if you will excuse us.” Josephine nodded her understanding and left, shutting the doors quietly behind her as she exited. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to know what was going on anyways.  

“Holliday, what happened?” asked Cordelia with concern. 

The dwarf’s eyes shone with unshed tears as she answered. “Queen Anora is pregnant. It seems me dying was just the thing the Royal Couple needed to spark their marriage. Too bad I wasn't buried in Haven beneath the avalanche.” 

Cullen raised an eyebrow at Cordelia, but she ignored him. There would be time for explanations later. “And the gifts-”

“My severance package, I guess. My men will still guard the Royal Family, but I will never again return to Denerim. Now if you will excuse me, I think I need a drink.” Holliday turned to leave. As much as she liked Cordelia, seeing her securely in Cullen’s arms was too much to bear. The pain was still too raw, too fresh in her mind.  

"Funny how I was the one worried about hurting him. I'm not sure if my heart is broken, or I’m just pissed off at the whole thing." Holliday muttered the words as she disappeared from the War Room. Thankfully, the tavern was always open. She would feel better once she drowned herself in another bottle.    


"What in the Maker’s name was that about?" Cullen turned to Cordelia but the Inquisitor only sighed.   


"It's a long story..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me laugh so freaking hard. Poor Cullen was so lost. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	16. I Really Don't Like That Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think the title speaks for itself. I don't care if Fiona is unhappy about my private life. She is a bitch, and there's a reason she got conscripted instead of allied. Shouldn't have been playing around with evil magisters....

Holliday made it about halfway out of the Main Hall before turning around and promptly marching to her quarters. True the tavern had alcohol...

But it also had Krem. 

And she would be damned if he saw her looking like a hot mess and smelling like a barn. No just...no. 

The hot water felt so good as she bathed. Days worth of travel and booze were scrubbed off of her skin, revealing the pretty dwarf that hid beneath. 

And yes, Holliday knew she was pretty. 

She read her reports as she toweled off her wet hair.  _ This  _ one was of particular interest to her. It seemed the Chantry members had accepted her bribe. 

Cullen and Cordelia would not have to suffer through some stuffy old birds watching them consummate their marriage. As much as Holliday liked letting people watch, she was fairly certain even she wouldn't want old women and men leering at her while she did the dance with no pants. 

Haha, she had just made a funny. 

In all seriousness though, at least one good thing was going to come out of the Chantry being in such disarray. 

She sighed as she looked in the mirror, finally content with her appearance. Her hair looked like spun gold, blue eyes accented by some rather hard to procure makeup from Antiva, and she had even painted her lips a soft pink. Unlike most women, Holliday did not try to cover up her looks, only highlight them. Hopefully, Krem would love it. 

And Maker, she needed him to. She had a feeling she was going to be doing a lot of groveling after what happened in Denerim. 

Making her way outside for the second time, she unexpectedly bumped into someone that she really didn't want to see in the courtyard. 

“First Enchanter Fiona,” she nodded slightly at the mage who stood before her. Holliday knew why the woman had chosen this moment to seek her out, but the dwarf wasn't in the mood for this. 

“My lady, I understand you have just come from Denerim,” Fiona spat with a disgusted tone. It was clear from the woman's face that she did not approve of Holliday's former position in the Royal Palace, or her place at the King’s side.

“It is  _ ma'am _ to you,” she growled. How this woman ever birthed sweet Alistair was something she would never understand. “I assume you are wondering about the King and Queen? Wanting to hear news of the Royal bundle of joy?” 

Just talking about it was seriously pissing her off. She was entirely too sober for this shit. 

“I wanted to only inquire about how they fare,” she said defensively, arms crossing over her chest. If there was one thing Holliday couldn't stand, it was when people treated her like she was stupid. This bitch wasn't playing anyone, and she was wearing a smug sneer like the dwarf was beneath her. 

“ _ They  _ are fine,” she quipped as she eyed Fiona while fingering one of her daggers. “Now if you will excuse me, I have actual important things to attend to-”

“Like drowning yourself in a bottle because you are no longer the Royal whore?” 

Alright, that was it. It was time for this tramp to die. 

“So sorry I took your former position,” she hissed as she drew one of her blades. Fiona’s magic cracked in the air. What was with this woman? Yeah Alistair was her kid, but was the venom really necessary? 

“STOP!” It seemed they had drawn a crowd as Krem and the Iron Bull stepped between the two women. 

Andraste preserve her, had he always looked that handsome? Maybe it was just the stern look on his face as he defended her from getting zapped. 

“This isn't over,  _ dwarf.”  _ Fiona turned and retreated, though fury was clearly written on her face. Holliday was going to have to sleep with one eye open for a bit after this one, and she found she rather liked that challenge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling that even though Fiona is Alistair's mom, she's gonna end up face down in a river somewhere if she doesn't watch it.   
> I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope everyone else does as well. And now...for the Krem de la creme. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	17. I Think I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For as long as I, Christy Holliday, live, I will never forget the first time he said he loved me.

Holliday was still pissed after her exchange with Fiona, but the sight of Krem standing there with his sword drawn had her mind going a completely different direction. 

Maker's breath, he was hot when he was defending her and such. She would have to play the damsel in distress more often, though she could have taken that mage bitch straight to the Void. 

People didn't need to be doubting her abilities to defend herself. She had lived through too much for that to happen. 

“Krem de la creme, I think I will leave you to it.” Bull actually looked uncomfortable as his spoke, his eyes shifting in Holliday's direction before he headed back towards the tavern. She was rather pleased at that. It meant she still had it.  _ It _ being her ability to scare people with just her presence. 

“Ma’am,” he said cautiously as he drew nearer. His earlier fury had vanished, replaced by an inquisitive raise of his eyebrow. She couldn't help but smile at him as he stood in front of her. 

“That is still my name,” she chuckled and he blushed crimson. It was too cute when she made him do that. “But I don't think that's what you are after. Let's go somewhere more private and we can talk.” 

She gently took his hand in hers as she led him away towards the abandoned tower along the battlements. Their walk passed in silence, and Holliday used that time to hunt for what she would say to him.

_ Krem, I thought about you constantly. But I messed up and slept-  _ Nope. Definitely not right. 

_ I'm sorry for what I-  _ Nah. Not that one either. Shit, this wasn't going to be easy. 

Her palms were sweaty, and her hand slipped on the old door handle as they made to enter the tower. Krem only grinned as he opened the door for her, and it was her turn to blush as they stepped inside. 

“Krem, um I-” She fidgeted with nervousness as she turned to face him. What was it about him that reduced her to a stuttering mess? Even Alistair hadn't been able to do that.

Krem sensed her anxiety. He could guess what had happened in Denerim by the way she was avoiding his gaze and shifting uncomfortably. It made him angry, but he tried to understand. 

“Ma'am, look it's alright,” he said in a calm tone as he tried to reassure her. He wasn't upset with Holliday, not really. He had clearly stolen something the Ferelden King wanted, and the fact that she had returned to him spoke louder than anything. 

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, and he found himself as lost in her deep blue as he had ever been. Nothing had changed. 

“Krem, I'm sorry,” she apologized as she tried to sift through her confused feelings. Krem deserved an explanation, but she wasn't sure she wanted to drag her buried emotions out and show them off. “He was there. And Anora is pregnant. And I-” 

What she was not going to do was cry in front of him. There had been enough tears the last few days, and she was set on leaving her past behind her. Her only guilt, was hurting the man in front of her. “Just know that I will never return there. I do not regret my life in Denerim, but I'm ready to move on. With you. If you can forgive me?” 

Her voice had grown soft, and she looked at him with hope that was tinged with anxiety. He considered her words for a few moments, and she let out the breath she had been holding when he flashed her one of his familiar smiles. 

“I'm going to be the only one, right? No other lovers lurking around that I have to duel?” He chuckled and she tried not to show the strain his words caused her. There were  _ lots  _ of men running around who she had been with. Though, she honestly had to say none of them had ever had the honor of being her only.

“Just you, Krem. Unless you're into that sort of thing.” She joked with him to hide her unease. Her checkered past had been kept mostly hidden from him, except whatever that asshole Qunari had managed to dig up. Telling him  _ everything _ was not going to be pleasant, but she swore to herself that she wouldn't keep secrets from him. 

“We maybe able to arrange something later. But for now, I am just happy to see you back in Skyhold.”  _ And with me,  _ he thought to himself as he closed the space between them. 

Holliday found herself wondering exactly what he meant by his words, but her thoughts left her as his calloused hand came to rest on her cheek. Warmth spread from the connection, and she sighed as she leaned into his touch. 

“I missed you, Krem. It maybe hard to believe, but I did.” Holliday wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer so her lips could tenderly brush against his. She enjoyed how she didn't feel pressured with him. There was no need to devour him and strip him down. She could savor her time with Krem, take it slow and appreciate all that he had to offer. For the first time in her life, this felt real. 

“M- ma’am,” he exhaled with a shaky breath. He was overcome by his emotions, and he had to give voice to them before the moment was broken. “I think I love you. I have thought so for a long time, but I wasn't ready to tell you until now.” 

He looked so happy, and Holliday tried not to ruin it by saying something stupid. “Krem, I- I'm not really sure what I feel, but I know I have never felt this way. You make me want to be a better person. And you are the only man who I have ever needed to be honest with. I can't say that it's love...but I won't run from whatever it is.” The promise hung in the air between them. And for now, it was enough for him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am seriously having one of those nights where I write nothing but tooth rotting fluff. And now, I sleep. 
> 
> Much love, 
> 
> SS


	18. I Have Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *giggles* Oh Maker have mercy, when the hell did I turn into the giggling type? Damn that man has really got a hold on me...

The next few days were incredible. Most of Skyhold was busy with wedding preparations, so Holliday was able to spend her time leisurely hanging out with the new man in her life. 

And Andraste preserve her, he was such a gentleman. Which was both sexy and infuriating at the same time. She prayed she survived this slow torment, but she refused to push him.

They were spending the day having a picnic on the battlements (his idea, of course). The sun was warm overhead, and Krem held Holliday's head in his lap as he stroked his fingers through her soft golden hair. Maker's breath, it felt amazing when he did that. 

“Ma’am,” Krem suddenly broke the silence with a nervousness in his voice. Holliday stiffened, knowing whatever he was about to say was not going to be easy for either of them. “I want to know more- about your past I mean.”

So far they had avoided talking much about that subject. She knew it would eventually have to happen, but she had been putting it off like the Blight. 

“Well, I guess I will start at the beginning,” she sighed heavily. Holliday knew what he was really getting at, but she figured it would be easier to tell him everything now. “I was born in Tantervale in the Free Marches. My parents were part of the Merchants Guild, and were rather progressive even for surface dwarves. Varric and I have known each other since I was a kid, and we always liked to get into trouble together.” 

She paused for a moment, hand reach up to trail her fingertips lightly down his forearm. That connection was needed for what she was about to say next. 

“There were several men who offered my parents extensive wealth for my hand, but I would not chain myself to anyone. I was seen as unruly by the ‘upper asshole’ nobles because I wouldn't settle down and make lots of little children.” Her tone was harsh as she spat the words. Krem’s fingers had stopped moving through her hair, and she could see him shaking slightly. He had already told her of his exprlerience in Tevinter, and she found it ironic how their stories mirrored each other. 

“So, I ran away. Joined a small operation of assassins, and ended up running the gang when our leader was killed. We got a big contract, and I took the job on myself. That's how I ended up in Denerim.” There was no need to go into details. Krem was a smart man, he could probably fill in the rest. 

“And your job as Spymaster for the King?” he asked. Alright, maybe she had been wrong. He clearly didn't want her to spare the details. 

“He was my target, but I...I couldn't do it.” She sat up then, needing distance between them. It still hurt. It always would in a way.

“Why not?” Krem made no move towards her. He could sense that she needed her space. 

“I pitied him, I guess. He was newly crowned, and so damn lost.” She smiled as the memories flooded her. Maybe he still had that plush marbari she had gotten him. “He offered me twice what my contractor paid me. We worked out a deal, and we were inseparable after that.” 

“And then you ended up here.” It was not a question, yet it hung in the air like one. She knew he wanted to know why she left. 

“HA! You obviously don’t understand how close Varric and me are,” she chuckled before reaching out to take his hand in her own. Her voice was soft as she continued, “I think after ten years I was tired. Somehow inside, I knew I needed a change. And I found that change, in you...” 

Suddenly, she was pinned against the cold stone. The kiss was demanding, not the infuriatingly gentle caresses she was used to from Krem. He claimed her mouth, and she willingly submitted to him. She had finally broken through that stoic shell and found the passion inside him. 

She nipped his bottom lip, a moan her reward as her hands fisted in his short hair. Fire danced along her skin. The deep ache she had carried around since reuniting with him flaring to life in an instant. 

“My room-  _ now,”  _ she growled as she kissed along his jaw. He jumped at the words, and she whined when the comfort of his warm body left hers. 

He nervous rubbed the back of his neck as he shifted uncomfortably. Holliday was confused. Had she done something to upset him? 

“Krem, I'm sorry if I-”

“No, ma'am,” he reassured. “It's not you. Maker, I promise it's not you. I just- I have never…” He blushed from his ears all the way down to where his armor covered him. Holliday's mouth fell open as she understood what he was implying.

“So wait- you're a virgin?” she asked in disbelief. There should have probably been more tact in the question, but she was too shocked to control what came out of her mouth.  

“I- is that a problem?” he stammered as he avoided her gaze. 

_ Maker no, except for the fact that I am going to-  _ yep. Holliday needed to stop her thoughts right there before she attacked the man. It would not be fitting to ruin him in such a way. He deserved better than having his first time on top of the battlements for all to see. 

“I'm just glad I won't have to worry about killing any former lovers,” she teased with a giggle, attempting to break the tension surrounding them.  

Andraste preserve her, she wanted to do things to him that would make the Chantry frown in shame. She really needed to stop undressing him with her eyes, and yet she couldn't. 

_ I bet his skin is soft and the paleness will reflect my love bites perfectly. I want to know if he screams… _

“Ma'am, is something wrong?” Krem’s look was unsure as he eyed her, and she had the decency to blush. There was no way she was going to tell him what she had been thinking. For Maker's sake, she was supposed to be a spy. Why could he read her face so well? 

“Sorry Krem I was just,” somehow:  _ eye fucking you from over here, _ didn't seem the appropriate thing to say. “If you aren't ready, I understand. I will  _ never _ pressure you.” It was true. She had sworn she would not rush him. Even if he kissed like a god and ignited her every desire. 

She sat up slowly, afraid of scaring him as she closed the space between them. The last thing she wanted was to run him off after all that had happened. 

“I don't want you to think I don't...because I do. I just- don't want to disappoint you.”

Awe...that had had to be the sweetest thing she had ever heard. 

Dammit! When had she started being so sappy? Uh…

“Krem,” she ignored her thoughts as she gently said his name. He brought out that hidden softness in her, and she didn't want to fight it any longer. “You will never disappoint me. I know I am more... _ experienced _ than you, but I wish I wasn't. I hate that my past has effected what is between us.” She smiled up at him gently, and he returned her grin as his hand came to rest on her cheek. 

“I think I would like to meet you in your room. I don't want to wait any longer.”

That sounded perfect to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much marshmellow fluff....drowning in it
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	19. Krem Isn't Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking back, this is hilarious. At the time though, it wasn't very funny.

Holliday wasn’t running, she was just walking at a very brisk pace back to her room. She also wasn’t grinning like a loon as heat coiled in her stomach. Nope, it definitely had nothing to do with Krem.

Who was she kidding? It had everything to do with Krem.  

Krem...with the honeyed eyes and soft lips. The only man who could make her feel like she was a raging inferno yet calm waters at the same time. Maker have mercy, she needed to get to her room. 

She was just a blur as she rushed up the stairs of the library. Dorian might have flashed her a wink as she passed, but she was hardly paying attention to him. Though, she was about to test out that very nice muffling charm he put on her room. Solas would be grateful for that at least.

The door was within reach as she heard booted footsteps echoing off the walls. Krem wasn’t far behind her, and she was surprised she had been able to outrun him so easily. Maybe her man enjoyed giving chase. Would he ever cease to surprise her?

_ Perhaps he was just enjoying the view,  _ Holliday giggled as she thought to herself. She disappeared inside her quarters, the door swinging shut as she leaned against it for support. He would be with her soon, and she needed to prepare herself. Calm, she just needed to stay calm and not scar him.  _ Be gentle. For once in your life, be gentle. _

“Hello, ma’am,” came a familiar baritone from the direction of the huge four poster bed in the center of the round room. Her head snapped up to see two very naked men lying there with the sheet half-hung off their hip. Shit! It was the twins! 

“We heard about what happened in Denerim, and we thought you could use some cheering up,” said James as he flashed her one of his devilish grins. What were they doing here? She had sent them back to Ferelden just before the battle of Haven. She had been happy they made it out before that bloody night, but now she almost wished they were buried under the snow. 

“We missed you,” whined John as he peered over his brother’s shoulder. Of all the times for this to happen…

“You two need to get out, NOW!” Panic rose as she started shaking. Krem had already been through so much, and this wasn’t going to help the relationship. Damn her past! Always coming back to haunt her and shit. 

“But…” They actually pouted as they started sliding out of bed. There was a pile of clothes not far away, and the twins started dressing just as Holliday heard a gentle knock behind her. 

“Ma’am...do I have your permission to come in?” Krem’s voice was like silk, and it slid over her skin in a burning caress. She had to bite her bottom lip and close her eyes to keep from moaning from just the sound alone, but it was hard to focus on the sexiness behind her as two other men were tugging on their smalls in front of her.  

“”Who is he?” John accused as he pointed towards the door. James’ face held the same angry stare, and Holliday let out a stream of curses under her breath. Krem would have definitely heard the other man speaking. She was going to kill them slowly for not obeying orders. 

“I told you to get the fuck out and I mean it!  _ I am your boss and if you don’t leave then I swear to the Maker-”  _ she growled out through gritted teeth. They seemed to take the hint fairly well, and clothes started appearing on bodies faster. 

“Holliday! Open this door!” Krem was yelling, and she heard the distinctive sound of a sword being drawn. Yep, he heard everything and he was pissed. Suddenly, the entire door shook and the splintering of wood rang out. She leaned against the door frame more, hoping to hold him back long enough to prevent him from doing something rash. 

“Go out the other door! Or I’m going to let him in so he can kill you both,” she threatened. The whole scene would have been quite comical if it wasn’t happening to Holliday: her with arms outstretched trying to keep Krem from bursting in, the boys looking like terrified halla as they sprinted away, and her man ramming into the door with the full force of his shoulder. Thank the Maker Varric couldn’t see this.      

Once James and John had disappeared, she turned slowly to let Krem in. He was standing on the top step, looking angrier than she had ever seen him before. His sword was still in his hand, and she wondered if he planned to use it on her now. “Listen, I can explain…” she started as he sheathed his weapon before crossing his arms over his chest. Well, at least he wasn’t going to behead her or something. 

“Who are they?” he demanded as his eyes took on a hard glint. 

“Some guys who work for me. Honestly, we used to sleep together, but it’s not like that anymore. They have been in Ferelden for a long time, and thought they could come ‘cheer me up’. They didn’t know about us.” She tried meeting his gaze, but faltered under its intensity. Instead, she took to staring at her hands as she fidgeted. 

“And you protected them, why?” Krem was so furious that he was losing his ability to speak in complex sentences. 

“Because, I don’t like blood on the bed sheets. You want them dead? Fine. I can arrange that.” Ok, now she was getting angry. There was supposed to be fun, sexy time, dance with no pants with her man happening right now. But instead, those idiots had ruined it. “But I will be damned if I have people dying in my…”

She was still fuming when Krem grabbed her to pull her against him, his lips crashing into hers. He kissed her like a man starved for water, and she was his oasis in the desert. She could have sworn he deeply rumbled  _ mine  _ sometime during the kiss, but she just wasn’t sure. The world began and ended with Krem in that moment. Nothing else mattered.

Just as swiftly as it started, it was over. She groaned with disapproval when he pulled away, and her words reacted while her brain was still in its Krem induced drunken state. “Does that mean we still get to have fun?” she asked with a wistful smile. 

“I’m still angry at you, ma’am. But I do believe your story- mostly.” His features were not as hard, but there was still a flash of something dangerous in his eyes. 

“Krem, you are the only person I have ever been honest with. I swear- I didn’t know they were here. And I would  _ never  _ have taken them up on their offer.” This was one of those times that being a spy really sucked druffalo balls.  

“How about this. I need some time to go cool off, drink a few pints with the boys and such. You need time to let your men know that I’m not willing to share with them. So, see you at the wedding tomorrow?” he asked in an even tone. Holliday understood what he was saying, even though she was disappointed that she had to wait. As soon as tomorrow’s mess was over, she was dragging him back up here to finish what they started. 

“I can agree to that, if you give me one last kiss,” she teased. Holliday wasn't sure he would accept, but the world was right again as his lips brushed tenderly against hers. 

“You're lucky I love you, ma'am,” he chuckled. 

“I know I am,” she replied softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so in love with Krem
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	20. Pre-Wedding Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much sweetness I might physically be ill. Cullen and Cordelia do look cute together though

Holliday made the commanding entrance to the wedding that she intended as the doors to the Main Hall banged against the walls. 

Good. Damn good actually. 

The eyes of over a hundred people turned her way. At least they were no longer staring at the Commander who was fidgeting on the dais where he and Cordelia were to be wed. 

Krem looked less than pleased as she sauntered up the the front of the procession. It probably had something to do with James and John flanking behind her, but he would find out the surprise she had in store in good time. For now, she was quite tickled at the jealousy that flashed in his eyes. Served him right for leaving her all hot and bothered to slink off so he could drink with the Chargers.

Cullen looked relieved when she reached him, and she quickly shut down any notion that she was going to quietly sit down and behave. This was her friend's wedding after all, and she was going to make sure things went smoothly. 

Josephine and Vivienne had turned this into a circus! Holliday felt indignation for the happy couple. Cordelia had been specific in her requests for a small ceremony, but as usual no one listened to her. 

At least Cullen thought her slightly drunken ramblings funny. Dorian seemed to enjoy them as well, but she had to mouth ‘go to hell’ at him to keep up appearances. Couldn't be letting Vints think they ran anything around here, even if he was a truly beautiful man with a fabulous mustache. 

After several minutes with no Inquisitor, everyone started to get antsy. Even Holliday was feeling the effects of waiting, and she almost threw a dagger at Cole when he suddenly appeared without warning. There was no getting used to that strange boy. 

After hearing his words, Holliday hatched her plan. She knew that smoke bomb was going to come in handy. She grabbed Cullen's arm firmly, tugging him behind her as they headed for his lady’s chambers. Thank the Maker he wasn't a spy. He would have made a terrible one stumbling behind her like a drunken druffalo. She was going to need to train him in the art of finesse and secret sneaking skill stuff. A Commander didn't need to be one dimensional. 

When they reached the terrified Cordelia, Holliday slid into the shadows. It was super awkward watching Cullen come to the Inquisitor's rescue, and she didn't want to intrude on the tender moment. It was rather touching though, in a way that shouldn't have affected her so deeply.

Damn if they weren't making her all teary eyed with the sweetness. Maybe one day her and Krem…

No. Not no but hell NO! Had all the wedding and baby shenanigans made her lose her Maker loving mind? Holliday wasn't the marrying type. 

But Krem would look so good in armor like Cullen was wearing. 

She shook her head to clear her thoughts at about the same time the two love birds started reciting their sentimental vows. It was all very adorable, but she needed to get them back on track before they started doing the dance with no pants. 

Or worse, Josephine came beating down the door. Yep, it was time to interject.

“And I, Christy Holliday, swear if you don’t get your arses in gear a pissed off Antivan will break down this door.” The dwarf appeared suddenly beside them as she spoke. They both blushed, but she seemed hardly as angry as her words made her sound. “This is absolutely adorable, darlings, simply wonderful. But, I think you are supposed to do it in front of the crowd of adoring fans waiting for you.” Her imitation of Vivienne’s accent was spot on.

The couple looked embarrassed, but Holliday brushed it off. It was easy enough to fix Cordelia’s make up, and she no longer looked like a cheap Orlesian whore. There was nothing to be done to tame down the wild hairdo Josephine had order for the Inquisitor, but she now looked more like herself at least. 

There was another charming moment when Cullen beheld his love in her current state. And Holliday knew, Cullen really did love her friend. This marriage may have been built on necessity, but the emotions behind it were more real than Corypheus’ red lyrium dragon. 

When she gathered Cordelia’s train to head downstairs, she saw the devotion and reverence in Cullen's eyes as he extended his arm for his lady to cling to.

Yep, screw her preconceived notions. Holliday needed to inspire those kind of feelings in Krem, and quick. Even if it did carry the danger of him trying to get her down the aisle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had the most awful cold for like two weeks. Trying to get several chapters out before Maya starts working on the next installment of Cordelia/Cullen's love story. Please bear with me
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	21. The Vows We Speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all very beautiful. Especially the Krem de la Creme standing in the corner.

Holliday almost chuckled when their little procession appeared in the Main Hall. Every head in the room turned to them, and she didn't even try to keep the door from loudly slamming just in case someone's attention wasn't captured yet. 

That earned her a glare from Cordelia, and a nervous glance from Cullen. Yep, she was bad. And she knew it. 

“Inquisitor. Commander. So glad you could join us.” Josephine glided forward with her unnatural grace, and shot Holliday a very displeased look. The Spymaster was sure her little trick would cause the Ambassador a serious headache, but what was life without a little fun? 

Josephine began situating the couple for their big moment, and Holliday slid in behind her friend. She wasn't leaving Cordelia’s side, and the Inquisitor seemed to want her there. The Ambassador could throw all the dirty, disapproving stares she wanted. Quite frankly, the dwarf was really starting to get over the pushy Antivan. How she had ever thought that woman was pretty was beyond her. Maybe she was still pretty, but the attitude was ruining it for her.

Speaking of absolutely gorgeous, she not-so-discreetly waved at Krem and shot him a wink before the party got started. He had been leaning against the wall watching the proceedings, but straightened to attention whenever she took notice of him. Right, she still had it. 

Mother Giselle took her place facing the crowd as she prepared to begin the ceremony. The old woman was giving Dorian the same look of disdain that Josephine was giving her. She was going to have to make friends with the man just for that. 

The crowd took their seats and quieted as the Chantry sister raised her arms. Once the rustling died down, you could have heard a pin drop.  _ It would be hilarious if someone farted right about now _ , Holliday thought.  _ I bet Sera will be the one to do it. _

Thankfully, though much to the dwarf’s dismay, no one did anything comical before Mother Giselle began speaking. 

“We are gathered here today to witness the joining of this couple in blessed matrimony. The Maker and Holy Andraste smile down on us all at this joyous occasion.” This was the part where Holliday started to lose interest and instead watched the pair in question intently. 

Cullen was more love sick puppy than she had ever seen him. He was holding Cordelia’s hands in his own, and grinning like a nug having its belly scratched. She was going to have to ask the Inquisitor how she tamed the lion so well. 

Speaking of the lady, she was no less thrilled as she looked up into her Commander's golden eyes. Sunlight was filtering through the windows behind them, illuminating them both in a beautiful glow. It truly was perfect.

“Now please, if you will Commander. Repeat after me.” Oh right, there was still a wedding going on. Since when had Holliday become so disjointed? Some Spymaster she was if she kept getting distracted so easily. It was all Krem’s fault somehow. 

“I, Cullen Stanton Rutherford…” Well, Holliday had already heard this part. And it was much more worthy of being watched when it was in the privacy of Cordelia’s confined bedroom. This standing in front of everyone was enough to make a dwarf need several drinks. 

Vows were exchanged, and then Cullen planted a kiss on his lady’s lips that had a certain Spymaster feeling more than a little hot and bothered just from watching. 

In order to keep from fanning herself, Holliday happened to glance in the direction of a certain lieutenant who still stood in the shadows watching. He was staring at her, had probably been staring the entire time. And when her eyes locked with his honey brown, she found she couldn't look away. He was giving her that look, the same soul crushing hungry desperation that she saw in Cullen when he looked at Cordelia. 

Did she already mention that she was one lucky dwarf? Nope, not in the last five minutes. Ok then, it was time to say it again. 

“I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen Rutherford.” Holliday finally tore her eyes away from Krem as the ceremony concluded. Everyone was cheering, and there were even a few whistles from Bull and Sera who were standing together at the back of the room. She even saw Cassandra jump up and whoop with joy. Now that wasn't a sight you got to see very often. 

Cullen kissed Cordelia once more, purely out of sheer love this time. A roar went up at the motion, and Holliday felt wetness in her eyes. She refused to let any tears fall though. Spies didn't cry. 

The couple turned to her then, and her friend leaned down to quietly whisper to her, “Thank you, Holliday. For everything.”

The dwarf only nodded before they turned back to their guest. Oh Maker damn it all, now she was crying.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since yall didn't get to see the ceremony in Ashes, I decided to do it. In my own crazy Holliday way of course
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	22. Don't Piss of the Dwarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't stand pompous noble assholes.

Holliday snuck away from the front of the Main Hall during all the hustle and bustle of tables being brought out for the feast. Her gaze briefly met with Cordelia’s, and the other woman gave her a knowing smile as she nodded. The Inquisitor was the only person besides Krem who she spoke to with 100% honesty, and her friend was happy that she had found her own form of romantic bliss.

The dwarf disappeared among the crowd, resurfacing a few minutes later in front of the one man she wanted to see most. Bull gave her a disapproving stare as she sauntered towards Krem, and she shot the Qunari a go to hell look over Krem’s shoulder as she hugged him. 

“I missed you,” she sighed against his neck as her focus narrowed to the man who was currently holding her like she was the most precious woman in Thedas. His arms were securely around her, and he buried his face in her golden hair as a contented sigh rumbled in his chest. Whatever anger he had been holding earlier evaporated at their connection. 

“I missed you too, ma'am. And you- you look beautiful. In that armor I mean. What I'm trying to say is…” A heated blush was creeping along his cheeks, and he tried to hide his face from her as he shifted with embarrassment. Holliday couldn't help but smile at how adorably innocent he looked. 

“Why thank you,” she teased as she took his hand in hers. He was still blushing like a young boy with his first love, but she could forgive him for that. Maybe it was that sweet innocence that made her forget herself and say her next words. “We could always get you a nice suit of armor like Cullen's made for the next wedding around here.” 

Maker's breath, she did not just imply that in such an open way. Her heart hammered as she waited for Krem’s response to her poor choice of words. She could have kicked herself for revealing those deepest hidden thoughts she had been having since seeing Cullen and Cordelia together. 

Krem stiffened for a moment, his expression going blank as his eyes glazed over in a way that was unreadable even to the Spymaster. She swore she saw Bull leaning in to catch their conversation. That Qunari was going to get it, even if it was the last thing Holliday did. 

“Krem, I didn't mean that like it sounded…” Holliday began, but she was silenced when that easy grin spread once more over his handsome face. Despite the crowd of people around them, he leaned in to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. 

“I think I understand exactly what you meant,  _ ma'am,”  _ his voice dipped low as he growled her title, the sound brushing over her skin like the most tender caress. Goosebumps blossomed along her flesh. Suddenly, she felt very warm and fought the urge to fan herself. 

“Krem de la creme, I don't mean to interrupt you and you... friend, but I think they are ready for us to take our seats.” The couple looked around and noted that most were now sitting at the long tables that had been brought out for the feast. Despite that fact, Holliday was sure Bull’s interruption had been much more intentional than he let on. 

“I guess that means you will be joining the Inquisitor,” Krem said with a slight frown. He was clearly annoyed at the intrusion as well. 

“And you will be joining us as well,” she replied with a reassuring smile. Cordelia and Cullen had a place all to themselves, but the other advisers and close friends had a table near them. She would kick Varric out of his seat if she had to, but Krem was sitting with her. 

“Are you sure, ma'am?” He looked uncertain as the question hung in the air. The people of Skyhold knowing they were a couple was one thing, but revealing themselves in front of so many was another. Krem was worried that she wouldn't want everyone knowing who he was to her. 

“There is no one I would rather have at my side,” she reassured as she led him away. 

*****

The food was splendid. The wine was sweet. And the more she drank, the more she leaned closer to Krem and giggled at every word he said. Her cheeks were flushed red, skin burning as more alcohol flowed. It was a joyous occasion, even if Josephine kept giving her disapproving glances. 

The Ambassador had been quite put off when Holliday demanded a spot for Krem, but in the end the Antivan relented. She was probably afraid of any further antics the Spymaster might pull in front of their guest. 

Varric however, was more than pleased. He chatted easily with his old friend, and questioned Krem like a wary big brother as they enjoyed their meal. 

Every once in awhile, Holliday would look over at Cordelia and Cullen. Her friend wore a hungry look that the dwarf knew had nothing to do with food. She was amused to say the least, and she wondered how long it would take before the Commander found himself drug off to the Inquisitor's bedchamber. 

About halfway through their meal, a servant approach Josephine who was sitting to her left. The woman whispered something to the Ambassador, who promptly stood with a worried expression on her tanned features. An uneasy feeling settled in the bottom of Holliday's stomach, and she caught Josephine’s arm before the woman could leave. 

“What has happened?” asked Holliday in a serious tone. 

The Antivan seemed to debate for a moment on telling the other adviser, but finally relented. “Bann and Lady Trevelyan have arrived. They were not invited, and I cannot fathom what they would be doing here.”

Holliday almost cursed aloud as she turned to look at the end of the hall where a pompous older gentleman and lady with her nose slightly upturned stood glancing around the room with disdain. My weren't they the conspicuous pair. 

“I will be back shortly,” Holliday whispered to Krem before disappearing into the shadows. Her lover only shrugged as he continued eating, having grown accustomed to her sneaking away to perform her duties as Spymaster. 

She watched silently when the nobles approached her friend. She held her tongue for as long as she could, but when that vile woman basically called Cordelia a whore, Holliday had enough. 

Luckily, she had a few secrets in her back pocket. She hadn't thought Cordelia’s former in-laws would appear, but as always she had a plan in case they did. 

“My understanding, Lady Trevelyan,” Holliday appeared at the woman's side, voice dripping with barely contained venom. She fingered the dagger at her hip before continuing. “Is that many young Templars once graced your father’s home. You were to be a Chantry sister, correct? Until that  _ unfortunate _ incident with Ser Richard that is.”

Lady Trevelyan’s face went pale from the dwarf’s accusation. She opened her mouth to retort, but Holliday cut her off with a wicked grin on her face.   
“And my Lord Trevelyan, shall we discuss your dealings with a certain young Antivan noble woman? It has come to my attention that the fair lady here was not your first choice for bride.” Holliday sneered and Cordelia’s former relations stormed off muttering about ‘improper hosts’ and such. They were lucky the got to leave with all of their body parts still intact. 

She bowed politely to the newlyweds and she clearly saw them both mouth ‘thank you’ to her before she retreated back to her seat. 

As she sat back down, Josephine turned to her with an impressed look on her face. “Remind me never to cross you, Lady Holliday. You are scary when angered.”

The dwarf only giggled before replying, “That is something you would do well to remember, Lady Montilyet. For now though, you are safe from me.”

A familiar arm snaked around her waist as Krem leaned in over her shoulder to join their conversation. “She's more talk than show,” he teased as Josephine nodded with a slight smile. 

“Only for you, Krem. Don't go ruining my reputation in front of everyone.” She elbowed him gently, a mock scowl on her face. 

“Now behave you two,” Varric said with a chuckle. Holliday shot him a dirty look before settling back in to finish their feast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee so much fun in the madness that is my fried brain cells. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	23. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dances and admissions

“You can't tell me you don't dance,” protested Krem as he extended a hand to her. The tables had disappeared, and the center of the room was now a makeshift dancefloor. Cullen and Cordelia were currently sharing their first official dance as husband and wife, though Holliday doubted the couple would be staying much longer. There was a little too much fire in the Commander's eyes as he beheld his bride while the soft music played in the background. 

 

_ I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight _ _   
_ _ I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing _

 

“I can tell you I don't dance, because I don't,” Holliday huffed with annoyance as she crossed her arms. “There is no way I have had enough to drink tonight for you to drag me out there.” She had never danced before because most men were too tall for her, and she hated looking ridiculous. The top of her head was at Krem’s shoulder luckily, but her lack of experience made her nervous. 

_   
_ _ I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side _ _   
_ __ And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away

 

Krem stepped forward, honeyed eyes flickering in the low light as a smirk played on his lips. He was up to something dangerous, and Holliday didn't like the way he was eyeing her. He was her weakness, and tonight he was playing for keeps. 

_   
_ _ And I have never had such a feeling _ _   
_ __ Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

 

Strong arms wrapped around her. She was powerless to fight against his warm embrace. Soft, safe. Exactly where she belonged. His lips grazed against hers, stealing her breath away as the song drew to a close. 

 

_ I never will forget the way you look tonight _

 

Holliday may not have been the lady in red tonight, but Krem made her feel as treasured as the woman in the song. The special Orlesian band Josephine had ordered struck up the next tune, and she didn't even protest this time as Krem led her out in front of everyone's prying eyes. 

 

_ There's a calm surrender to the rush of day _ _   
_ _ When the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away _ _   
_ _ An enchanted moment, and it sees me through _ _   
_ _ It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you _ __   
  


Holliday's head rested against his shoulder as they started moving in time to the music. At least this was one of her favorite songs, but she could hardly focus on the music as the calming prescience that was Krem invaded her senses.

_   
_ _ And can you feel the love tonight? _ _   
_ _ It is where we are _ _   
_ _ It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer _ _   
_ _ That we got this far _ _   
_ _ And can you feel the love tonight? _ _   
_ _ How it's laid to rest _ _   
_ _ It's enough to make kings and vagabonds _ _   
_ _ Believe the very best _ __   
  


A contented sigh escaped him as he cradled her against his chest. He had never danced with another before, had never wanted to until a certain dwarf appeared in his life. He needed everyone to see them together, to know she was now with someone. With  _ him. _

_   
_ _ There's a time for everyone if they only learn _ _   
_ _ That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn _ _   
_ _ There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors _ _   
_ _ When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours _ __   
  


He quietly whispered the words of the song in her ear, his lips brushing against the sensitive flesh. A shiver started at the top of her spine and blossomed all the way down. It wasn't just sexy, but utterly romantic. Only one other man had treated her like she was something more than a toy, and even that man could not melt her the way Krem did. 

_   
_ _ And can you feel the love tonight? _ _   
_ _ It is where we are _ _   
_ _ It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer _ _   
_ _ That we got this far _ _   
_ _ And can you feel the love tonight? _ _   
_ _ How it's laid to rest _ _   
_ _ It's enough to make kings and vagabonds _ _   
_ _ Believe the very best _ _   
_ _ It's enough to make kings and vagabonds _ _   
_ _ Believe the very best _ __   
  


The song ended, but the lovers stayed embraced for a several second after. Neither wanted to leave the peace they had found together. In that moment, Holliday knew she loved him as well. She just had to find the right moment to tell him, a proper way that befit how incredible he was. 

“I think we need to move, Krem. They are about to start the next song,” she suggested shyly. Maker have mercy, was she seriously blushing in front of all these people? 

“I think you're right,” he chuckled as he looked around to see everyone staring at them. He wasn't sure exactly which shocking part of their relationship people were focusing on, but he found he didn't care. 

They made their way over to Bull and the Chargers, and received a chorus of whistles and cat calls as they drew closer. The small group was drinking in a dark corner of the Main Hall, and they were growing louder and more rambunctious with each round of ale. She was sure Josephine was having a fit over the impropriety of it all, and that made her smile. 

“Hey Chief,” Krem said cautiously as his arm snaked around Holliday's waist to pull her close. Bull was the only one who wasn't joining in on teasing him, and he didn't like the frown on the Qunari’s face. 

“So, I see you two made up. Hopefully no more,  _ problems _ arise.” Krem’s grip tightened on her shoulder, but he said nothing. He knew the big lug was just worried about him, but it wasn't making this easier. Even if Bull was his boss, he didn't like anyone slandering Holliday.

“Oh, thank you for reminding me,” started Holliday before Krem could defend her. He was so noble, but the dwarf could take care of herself.  

The smile plastered on Holliday's face was fake, the tone in her voice just barely above outright anger. She wanted to drive a dagger in that bastard’s spine while no one was looking, but for Krem’s sake she would try to be civil. 

“I brought the twins here for a special purpose. After their transgressions which caused pain to the man I am deeply in love with…” Krem sucked in a breath and Bull’s eyes grew wide, but she continued. “They no longer work for me. They are now indentured to you, _my_ _love_ , to do with as you see fit. Even if you kill them, they know you would be kinder than I.”

She let the words have their intended effect as he turned to her. His mouth hung open in silent surprise, and she giggled as she leaned up to kiss his cheek. She hadn't been planning to outright say she was in love with him, but there was no passing up an opportunity to shock everyone present.

“You are too cute when you look like that,” she whispered before turning back to the group. “Now, can someone pass me a drink? I find I am in desperate need of one.” 

It took several moments for Krem to finally regain his voice. He watched as Stitches poured Holliday a mug, before his questioning gaze flickered to Bull. The Qunari only shrugged in a way that told his lieutenant he was just as dumbfounded at the whole exchange. It was never good if the Chief was stumped. 

“Krem, get over here,” she called to him with a grin as she waved him to the table she was sitting at. It was like a dream as he walked over to take his place at her side, all the boys talking excitedly as if Holliday had always been one of them. 

His men fired off question after question, and she answered them with refined yet restrained grace.

“Is it true that you once killed a Chantry sister for stealing one of you lov-”

“No. Not at all,” Holliday said quickly to avoid Rocky finishing his question. He was the only other dwarf at the table, and he clearly lacked an understanding of tactful questions. The last thing she wanted was people bringing up past lovers and irritating Krem again. 

“I heard ya once robbed the Prince of Starkhaven blind,” said Dalish with a drunken swing of her mug. Andraste's flaming knickers, the stories they were telling around Skyhold. No wonder Krem was so wary of her. 

“That's not exactly what happened, but it's closer to the truth than me murdering members of the Chantry.” Her hand found Krem’s under the table and she squeezed it for support. Answering such prying questions was not something she was used to doing unless she outright lied, and she was trying not to do that with the people he considered family. 

Maker's breath, the only one not grilling her was the silent one named Grim. He only grunted occasionally as he stared at her with a gaze that was unreadable. 

On second thought, Holliday decided she liked the noisy ones better. 

“Alright, that's enough,” said Krem in a voice that was low and commanding. He didn't have to be loud to be heard. 

“It is getting late,” she said with an insinuating wink in his direction. He flushed crimson as the men started whopping again, clearly noticing her not-so-subtle innuendo.

“That's my boy!”

“Go get her, Krem!”

“Have fun you two!” 

The couple headed for her room as the teasing continued, but that wasn't the only thing to trail them. A single brown eye watched the pair closely, and Bull muttered a silent threat under his breath, “She’d better not hurt him.”

He had always protected Krem, and he would continue to do so. Even if that meant having to protect him from himself. 


	24. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not a morning person

The banging was what got Holliday's attention, a constant tapping that pounded with a dull pain in her head. Annoying, but not unbearable. 

It was dark: warm, safe, and comfortable. A familiar scent tickled her nose as velvet skin brushed against her own. Perfection, pure and simple. 

Why wasn't that infernal sound stopping? Who dared ruin such an incredible…

"HOLLIDAY! I need you!" Maker's breath, it was Cordelia!

A loud thump rang out as the Spymaster jumped so badly that she fell out of bed and hit the floor below. She cursed under her breath and rubbed her sore bottom as she made to stand. Her muscles ached from the long night, and she knew she had only been asleep for a few short hours. She had ensured Krem enjoyed it all. 

"Ma'am, who is it?" A sleepy head rose from a pillow as Krem yawned out the question. He looked adorable with his half-closed eyes and hair sticking out at odd angles. She had to be the luckiest girl in Skyhold. No, in all of Thedas.

"Holliday, please-" The desperation in her friend's voice was the only thing that kept Holliday from jumping back in bed and ravaging her lover once more. That woman had better count herself lucky. Most people who woke her in such a manner left missing a few fingers at least. 

She swore if she wasn't with Krem, she would have ripped that door open and stood there in all her glory just to embarrass Cordelia. However, she would refrain for now. 

"Just a minute!" She called before crawling over on her massive bed and planting a soft kiss on Krem’s lips. 

"I'm sorry, love. Duty calls," she whispered as she avoided a bear hug when Krem attempted to pull her back down in bed with him. 

"Actually, I need Krem to come as well." Damn if that woman didn't have good hearing. Must have been the elf blood.

"Why in the Maker's name are you not still with Cullen? I figured he would have kept you in bed for days." The wedding had only been last night, and the dwarf had looked forward to the entire keep sleeping in after the celebration. 

"I have to attend lunch with Cullen's family. You can't make me go alone. It's like a double date." Cordelia was trying to sell it hard, and Holliday couldn't say no. Seriously, the woman who could stare down Corypheus while pregnant needed Holliday for this? Oh well, best friend code and all.

“Alright. But seriously, you owe me.” Annoyance was plainly on Holliday's face as she got ready. The sound of shifting alerted her to Krem trying to find something to wear behind her.

Andraste preserve her, this was going to be a long day. 


	25. Socially Awkward Doesn't Begin to Cover It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch doesn't go so well.

“Just remember to breathe and we will be ok,” Holliday leaned in to whisper in Cordelia’s ear as they headed towards the table at the end of the Main Hall. The Inquisitor had her arm securely in Cullen's, and the Spymaster mirrored the image with Krem. The dwarf couldn't help but notice her friend’s tense shoulders and nervous shaking though, so she stepped in to give some friendly reassurance. 

“I feel like I'm going to vomit,” muttered Cordelia out of the corner of her mouth. Holliday wasn't sure if that was baby or nerves kicking in. 

“You will do fine,” stated Cullen with a pat to her hand and a confident smile on his face. Holliday would have once been jealous of the love she saw shining in the Commander's eyes. But as she turned to stare at Krem, she realized she finally had what was missing from her life. Now she didn't want to roll her eyes every time she had to be around Cordelia  _ and _ Cullen. 

As they approached the Rutherford family, she noted a woman who looked to be about Cullen's age with the same wavy golden hair, a much younger girl who looked barely 20 years with a fresh face and hair the color of strawberries, and a rather handsome man who bore a likeness to Cullen but with dark brown hair that was cropped short. All three though, had the same golden eyes as the Commander. 

"This is my oldest sister, Mia," introduced Cullen as he gestured to the woman who nodded with a polite smile.

"My younger sister, Rosalie-"

"Everyone calls me Rosie," pipped the young girl as she cut Cullen off from speaking. To his credit, he only glared at her with slight annoyance as Cordelia stifled a giggle.

"And my brother, Branson." The man gave a cheery wave and beamed as he took in their small group. 

“You must be Cordelia," said Mia as she stood and embraced the other woman in a quick hug. Holliday saw the Inquisitor stiffen for a moment, and the Spymaster had to force herself not to reach for her hidden daggers. Old habits died hard. 

"Yes everyone, this is my beautiful wife," the look of pride on Cullen's face only had Cordelia blushing deeper. 

"And who  _ else _ have you brought with you, brother?" The dwarf noted how Branson eyed her as he asked the question. He was not leering at least, but she was going to quickly shut down any notions he might have. 

"This is Lady Holliday, the Inquisition's Spymaster. And her, ah..." Cullen stuttered as he fumbled to find the right words. Holliday would save him this time, just because she didn't want him looking like a fool in front of his family. 

"This is Krem, my boyfriend for lack of a better term." She seriously hated that word, but it would have to do for now. 

"But he looks like a..." Rosie started speaking, but Mia shot her a warning look and the girl quickly closed her mouth. Holliday had a feeling she knew what Rosie had been about to say, but she let it slide for now.

“I think it's best if we all take our seats.” To Holliday's credit, she only growled out the words a little. Krem squeezed her hand as a silent way of reminding her to stay calm and not plot to make any of Cullen's family disappear. 

“That seems like an excellent idea,” stated Cullen as he led Cordelia to the table. He flashed Holliday a nervous glance, as if he could see the murder on her mind written all over her face. No wonder he had been unhappy when the Inquisitor informed him that Krem and she would be joining their little lunch. 

The talk was pretty mundane as their meal was brought to them. Cordelia was sitting across from her, and whenever she was feeling particularly nervous she would nudge the dwarf with her foot so she could save her. Holliday really needed to stop doing that for her, but best friend code and all. 

“You were married once before, right?” asked Rosie. Cordelia visibly paled and coughed as she choked on her food. Cullen patted her back and instead of nudging Holliday, she full on kicked her in the shin. 

“OW!” exclaimed the Spymaster as she jumped and her knee slammed into the bottom of the table. The entire surface shook, an Mia’s glass of wine fell over and shattered as red liquid covered the poor woman. 

Well, this was just great. 

“Are you alright?” Krem grabbed her shoulders to steady her as Mia started dabbing the wine from her face a clothes. She swore Cullen was hiding a laugh behind his hand as it covered his mouth. 

“I'm fine,” she grumbled as he checked her over. Cordelia looked like she wanted to melt into the floor, and Holliday wanted the ground to swallow her whole. Embarrassment wasn't something she was used to. 

“At least you are keeping things interesting,” Krem chuckled in her ear low enough that no one else heard him. Servants rushed from the kitchen to clean up the mess as Holliday rubbed her sore knee. Her lover offered to help her in a way that was openly suggestive of something much more intimate, but Holliday playfully pushed him away and commented that she had ‘created a monster.’ 

“Mia, I am so sorry,” apologized Holliday as she turned back to the others. She shot Cordelia a dirty look, but her friend only hid her face in the crook of Cullen's neck leaving the Spymaster hanging out to dry. The sting of betrayal hurt, but the dwarf would get her revenge soon enough. 

“It's alright,” assured the woman. How Mia kept her composure after all that was amazing. Possibly even better than Holliday. Well, maybe she wouldn't go as far as  _ that, _ but still impressive none the less. “I was done eating anyways. I'm going to go to my room and change, and then perhaps my brother can show us around. He tells me there is a chess board in the garden.” 

The flash of her golden eyes as they met Cullen's told Holliday that the Rutherford family all possessed a competitive streak. She had played the Commander several times herself, and she had even watch Cordelia and him play. It would be interesting to see what the rest of the day would have in store for them. Hopefully, they would survive without any more mishaps.     


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself. Everyone has had that one really awkward family meeting where everything goes wrong. Mine was a Christmas dinner with an ex boyfriend after I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed and was high on hydrocodone. I hope I have captured some of that here. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	26. Complete and Total Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* This part always makes me smile.

The rest of the meal carried on in silence. No one dared ask anymore questions after the epic disaster that had occurred. Holliday spent her time glaring at Cordelia with her arms across her chest. The Inquisitor avoided her gaze by staring at her plate and not touching her food. Of course, Cullen and Krem carried on as if nothing was amiss. For all she knew, both men might have been truly oblivious to the silent daggers of rage the dwarf was throwing at her friend. 

Once the meal was complete and Mia had returned, Cullen suggested they head for the garden and the chess board. Holliday practically drug Krem out the side door before the others could move, embarrassment fresh on her mind. Yet again, she was spending her day saving the Inquisitor’s ass. The dwarf seriously needed a vacation. 

“Ma'am,” whispered Krem as his breath tickled her ear in a way that made her forget everything except his low voice and the scent of sandalwood and leather on his skin. “I know this wasn't what you had in mind, but try to enjoy the day. For me?” 

Sometimes it amazed her how well he could read her, and how he always could calm her no matter what. She leaned up to kiss his cheek softly, a silent thank you for being there when she needed him. “I love you. You know that, right?”

He only grinned widely as the others joined them in the garden. He would always need to hear her say that. Always need the gentle reassurance and adoration that shined in her crystal blue eyes. 

The pair walked hand in hand, his thumb lightly brushing across her skin as they made their way to the gazebo. They were oblivious to those around them, and instead were encased in a bubble of their own as they lazily strolled among the elfroot. 

They picked a spot on the warm grass far enough away that their conversation wouldn't be heard, but still close enough to watch what was happening. Krem sat first, stretching out his long legs before motioning for Holliday to join him. She sat with her back to his chest, and he surrounded her with strong arms as she leaned into his embrace. 

“I could get used to this, you know? You. Me. Nice sunny days with nothing to do but lay around all day,” he stated as he buried his face in her long golden hair. Usually she kept it pinned up in an intricate braid, but he enjoyed it when she left it down. And for him, she would do anything. 

“What about the Chargers? You can't seriously tell me you would give up the mercenary life?” She giggled as she spoke, but there was half-truth in her question. A slight giddiness fluttered in her stomach as he hummed while he thought. 

“Would you give up your life as a spy?” he asked in a serious voice. She hated when he turned the tables on her like that, but it always made their talks intriguing. 

She contemplated her answer as she watched Mia and Cullen settle into their game while the others watched closely. Being a spy was the only life she had known. Would she really give up all that for the love of one man?

Yes. Yes she would. 

“As long as I had you,” she said gently as she took his hand within her own. “Then I would do anything. Even settle down on a farm somewhere and lead a boring adventureless life. Though I see no reason why we have to change. We are both good at killing things,” she teased as she laced her fingers with his. 

They hadn't really talked about their future. Would he want to settle down? Continue his life as a soldier? Maker's breath, did he want children? Her earlier life and what she had been through made such a thing impossible, the scar on her abdomen was proof enough of that. Maybe they could adopt some of the little Sahrnian orphans she had heard about in her reports, and have a big family with a white picket fence and a comfy little home. 

What in Andraste's holy name was she thinking? Already planning out such things when Corypheus wasn't even dead yet? Did Krem even want those things? Did she really want those things?

_ Get a grip, Holliday.  _ She thought to herself. 

Krem only held her close without speaking as she had her internal meltdown, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. She could only imagine his mind was rushing through the same erratic thoughts hers was. 

“I have always been a soldier. The mercenary life has been good to me, and I couldn't see living my life without the boys and the chief.” Why did his reply sting? Why did it make her heart slightly crack with sadness? 

He sighed softly as he grip around her tightened, fingertips digging into her flesh a little as he planted a tender kiss on her cheek. “If you wanted that life, then I would be honored to fight at your side and protect you. But if you wanted something different, then I wouldn't be opposed to that either. As long as you are happy, then I am happy. I would miss the boys, but I don't want to live my life without you.” 

Holliday heard the smile in his voice as he made her the promise. She turned around to meet his honey colored eyes, her hand coming to rest on his cheek as she grinned up at him. He knew how to make her feel special in a way no man ever had before.

Perfect. He was absolutely perfect. 

“We don't have to make any decisions right now,” she stated. “There will be plenty of time to figure everything out once we kill that asshole who thinks he's a god.” Krem laughed then, a full rich sound that made her heart thunder in her ears as he clutched his side. She laughed as well, and his arms wrapped around her as he fell back on the grass pulling her down with him. 

“I love you, ma'am.” His face has gone serious as his eyes darkened. Her hands rested on his chest as she looked down at him. The truth of his words make her feel giddy, and she didn't even care about how inappropriate it was for a spy to feel giddy. 

“I love you too,” she replied before leaning down for another kiss. 

“Will you two get a room?” Holliday growled with annoyance as she looked over her shoulder at who dared interrupt them. Everyone was watching the pair, and Cullen was chuckling after interrupting their moment. Had he lost his mind? He should have known better than to provoke her. 

“I swear to the Maker I'm going to…” Her threat fell silent though as Krem swiftly turned her face back to his. His kiss was all fire and passion. She couldn't even remember her own name from the exquisiteness of his distraction.

When he pulled away, she softly whined from the loss of him. He simply grinned up at her, his fingertips running through her long blonde hair. “Let's get out of here,” he suggested. And Holliday thought she had never heard a better idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rolls in utter happiness* 
> 
> This, dear Maya, was what I was really wanting I think. Sorry I had to completely rewrite it. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	27. Rainy Days and Secret Plans

It had been several months since the wedding, and Cordelia was now too far along to go out in the field. Bull, Krem, and the Chargers had taken on most of the work, which left one extremely bored Spymaster. Holliday had started spending her days keeping the Inquisitor company since she was now confined to bedrest. Though the dwarf thought she would have rather faced a dragon than deal with a hormonal pregnant Inquisitor who was prone to outbursts. 

“I'm seriously craving a sweet roll,” said Cordelia absentmindedly as they both sat on her bed. Holliday had been watching the rain gently fall against the glass panes of the room as her mind drifted to Krem. She was pulled back from her daydreaming though as her friend spoke. 

“Pregnancy cravings again?” she chuckled before pulling out a bag she had been keeping hidden. “I had a feeling this would happen. Here. I brought one for each of us.”

Cordelia almost squealed in delight as Holliday handed her a treat and took one for herself. 

“Thank you so much!” she exclaimed before taking a bite. A huge grin instantly spread across her features as the incredible taste burst across her tongue. “How did you know?” she asked between bites. 

“Sera told me,” said Holliday as she ate her treat at a much slower pace than Cordelia. The sugar was good for drowning the sorrow of Krem being gone so much. “She says she sneaks them to you all the time. Thank the Maker Josephine hired that special chef. I'm rather enjoying the added benefits, though my waist isn't appreciating it,” added the dwarf as she patted her stomach with a giggle. 

“Don't even talk to me about weight,” groaned Cordelia as she looked down to the obvious baby bump she now had. None of her clothes fit anymore and she had all but given up on the thought of ever fitting into her battle mage armour again. 

“You are pregnant. Pregnant women are supposed to put on weight,” Holliday reassured. “I'm just blaming mine on a contented lifestyle. So many people to do my dirty work for me while I spend my days cooped up in this keep. I haven't killed anyone in months. I'm going to loose my assassin's touch here soon.” Holliday partially jested, but it was also partially true. It wasn't like she had put on  _ that _ many pounds, but her usually toned body was getting soft in some places. She seriously needed to train more before Krem got back. He said he didn't care about those things, but she sure as hell did. 

“Is that all you ever think about is killing people?” asked Cordelia as she finished her sweet roll. She licked her fingers clean before flopping down on the mountain of pillows that covered her bed. It was as if Cullen had built a sacred pillow shrine just for her. 

“Hey, I think about other things!” she protested. “I think about murdering people, torturing people, oh oh!! And the way they squirm right before you completely ruin their family with some dark hidden secret. That one's my favorite.” The Inquisitor only rolled her eyes on response to Holliday's teasing. It was nice to have someone who would spend time with her now that she was imprisoned in this room. 

“Have you heard from Krem lately?” she asked with a cautious voice. Due to her condition, Cullen got to stay in Skyhold and be by her side every night. During the day he was busy with his duties, but it was enough for her to know he wasn't going out in the field. Her friend didn't have that luxury though. 

“We write often. I actually got a letter from him the other day.” The dwarf beamed as she pulled out a piece of parchment that had been read so much it was now smooth and soft. 

“Oh let me see!” Cordelia reached for the paper, but Holliday jumped from the bed eyeing the Inquisitor like she had lost her mind. 

“Excuse me. This is my private business.” The dwarf then stuck out her tongue at Cordelia and the Inquisitor huffed. Being stuck inside was making them both insane. 

“No fair!” she whined. “You got to read all of my letters to Cullen from the front lines. I want to see how romantic ‘Krem de la creme’ really is. He has to be a god to have won you over.” Holliday picked up a pillow and threw it at her friend playfully. Cordelia dodged the projectile, and fired one back which hit Holliday square in the face. 

“If you wanted to get to read all the reports, then you should have been Spymaster and not Inquisitor,” she chuckled before finally handing over the piece of parchment that started it all. It was actually quite a basic letter, a fact which had left Holliday feeling a little sad. Maybe the spark between them was dying with all their time apart. 

Cordelia quickly read the words before rereading them a second time. There was a deep frown on her face as she finally finished, and the dwarf awaited what she had to say. 

“Where is the fluff? The all encompassing ridiculous fluff? I demand that my friend be worshipped!” she actually seemed truly indignant as Holliday took the paper back from her and tucked it away. At times like this, she was glad she couldn't get pregnant. It made women crazy. Cordelia was proof enough of that. Thank the Maker she wasn't crying today. 

“He was probably just tired. That damn Spymaster has been working the hell out of him with jobs,” she attempted to lighten the mood and her friends scowl quickly morphed into a grin. So easy. So so easy to distract her right now. 

“When he gets back you should let him have a break. Maybe you two could go do something nice together! Make sure to have plenty of fun for me since I'm stuck in here,” she pouted. 

“That's probably not a good idea,” cautioned Holliday. “There's still an evil ancient magister on the loose. I can see it now. ‘Wait Corypheus time out. I want to take a nice trip with my boyfriend. Could you put off attacking for a few more weeks?’” Cordelia had to clutch her side from laughing so hard. Holliday had to admit that one was rather funny. 

“Hey I had an idea,” the Inquisitor said as she finally caught her breath again. “When it stops raining you should sneak me out. Just like old times right?” 

Holliday contemplate the offer before a plan began to form in her mind. She had never exacted revenge for the awkward dinner with Cullen's family, and now she was presented with a perfect opportunity for retribution. 

She smiled sweetly to cover up the plot she had in mind. “I think we could do that. If it stops raining tomorrow I can sneak you out.” 

Cordelia actually clapped her hands with excitement and Holliday had to force herself not to roll her eyes. This was going to be too much fun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laugh*   
> OK so if you have never been pregnant it really does make you crazy. I was already crazy so being pregnant is only making it worse. Hope everyone enjoyed the insanity 
> 
> Much love, 
> 
> SS


	28. Because We All Need A Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can honestly say I'm not sorry for this at all *giggles*

The Maker must have been smiling down on Holliday. The sun was blazing the next morning as she rolled out of bed. She took that to mean he endorsed the great fun she was going to have. 

The Spymaster had one quick stop to make before heading to Cordelia’s room. After she took care of the business that distracted her from meeting her friend, she found herself climbing the stairs to the Inquisitor's quarters. 

Holliday arrived to find Cordelia sitting in bed as usual. Cole was also present, the boy perched on top of her desk with his legs swinging over the side. Unlike most around Skyhold, Holliday liked him. She sensed no danger from the spirit, and he was truly trying to help her friend during this tough time. The only thing that made her a bit uneasy was his ability to see inside her so clearly. As a spy, that was concerning. 

“Hey Holliday!” called Cordelia with an excited tone as she waved. The Spymaster grinned at her before walking over to join her on the bed. She tried not to dwell on what that stain on her sheets might have been as she made sure to sit at the end of the mattress. 

_ Food. Just food,  _ she attempted to reassure herself. No need to think of the things Cullen and Cordelia did behind closed doors when she wasn't doing the same. 

“Hiding. Stone wall around her. Doesn't want to be seen. Secrets, like dark shadows clinging to the corner. He cannot know.” Cole’s haunting voice drifted across the room, catching both women's attention. Holliday inwardly cursed. She had been trying to keep him out, not wanting him to see her plans. He was going to ruin everything! 

“Cole, what are you talking about?” asked Cordelia in a slightly worried tone. Holliday needed to think fast. 

“I have a surprise for you, and I'm trying to keep it from him. Don't want him spoiling it.” A sweet smile was on the dwarf’s face as she spoke in a reassuring tone. The tension eased from Cordelia’s shoulders, but Cole still wasn't satisfied. 

“It feels like a cloak against skin. Running through the night. Moonlight, moonlight is secrecy.” 

Holliday was serious going to kick him if he messed this up. 

“Cole, I think Master Dennet was wanting your help with the horses again.” It was no secret that the boy could calm beasts with just a touch of his hand. 

He lifted his head, his bright eyes barely visible under the brim of his hat. He was smiling though, and Holliday took that as a good sign. “I like to help. The horses are nice. They like the carrots. The King gave you your horse, and he is happy to be with you. He likes you.”

Well, at least that was reassuring.  

Cole disappeared suddenly with a small  _ pop.  _ The Spymaster was never going to get used to that sound, though she wished he could teach her his trick. It would be useful in so many situations. 

“Well now that I am officially weirded out,” said Cordelia. “What are our plans for today?”

“Like I said, it's a surprise. We have to get you out of here first though.” 

Cordelia jittered with excitement as she rose from the bed. Holliday almost felt guilty for what was about to happen. Almost. Cordelia deserved it though, and the prank wasn't going to cause any real harm. 

Holliday led her downstairs, poking her head out to check around while her hand remained firmly around Cordelia wrist. When she saw no one was looking, they darted out and quickly made their way towards the War Room. The Spymaster knew Skyhold’s passages like the knives on her belt, and they were going to have to use a different route than walking out the front door. Too many people would see them if they tried that. Not even Holliday was that good. 

As soon as they stepping into Josephine’s office, she shot left and made her way down into the barely used part of Skyhold. Dim torchlight lit their way, and she was thankful her friend remained silent. She seemed to sense that they needed to be quiet and stealthy for this to work. 

When they arrived to the door that led outside, she finally paused to let Cordelia catch her breath. The woman had been confined to bed for far too long, and she was panting slightly from the effort of working her barely used muscles during their escape. 

“How you holding up?” The dwarf asked as she saw the Inquisitor lean against the wall. 

“I'm fine,” she said shortly between breaths. “I have decided I hate stairs. Going down them is awful. I can only imagine how terrible going up them is going to be.”

“We can turn back if you want,” chuckled Holliday. “See, you were complaining about bed rest but that seems to be exactly what you needed.”

Cordelia’s face grew hard at her words. Her jaw set stubbornly as she straightened herself, eyes flashing slightly as she looked down at the dwarf. “I am fine. Let's keep moving.”

Holliday had hoped she would say that. 

The Spymaster opened the door slowly, stepping out into the bright day as the sun hit her golden hair. She couldn't help but grin as the surprise she had planned was waiting for them at the top of the stairs. 

“CULLEN!?” exclaimed Cordelia as she stepped out behind her friend. Holliday was sure if the Inquisitor would have been physically able to run, she would have bolted. 

The Commander was wearing a tense look of irritation. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was clearly unhappy at the entire situation. Holliday was glad he went along with the plan when she suggested it to him this morning. She had been afraid he would reject her little prank. 

“I was hoping you were not right, Lady Holliday. I would have thought my wife had enough sense to listen to me when I told her to stay in bed.” 

The dwarf stepped to the side. The last place she wanted to be was between the two of them. She was going to sit back, and enjoy her moment. 

“You. YOU!” glared Cordelia as she pointed a finger at Holliday. The Spymaster only held up her hands innocently, though she was anything but. “You  _ tricked  _ me! How could you?”

Alright, the accusing tone and hurt stung a little coming from her friend. But she had her reasons. “Remember when you forced me to go to have lunch with you and Cullen's family? And you made me spill wine all over his sister? Then left me standing there looking foolish? Payback, dear Inquisitor. All payback.” 

The rage that was on Cordelia’s face softened a little, though she still looked rather upset. 

“And you, dear wife, disobeyed me. Why can't you see I am only trying to look out for the safety of you and our child?”

Now Cordelia’s face really fell as Cullen gently scolded her. The Commander was clearly frustrated, and Holliday was feeling more and more guilty for causing this entire situation. 

“Commander, if I may,” began the dwarf. He finally turned from his wife and looked down at Holliday with his golden eyes. The way his mouth was set in that thin line of disapproval was impressive. “I understand your desire for Cordelia to be safe, but it  _ cannot _ be healthy for her or the baby to keep her locked up in her room. It's causing her a lot of stress, which in turn stresses the child.” 

He considered her words for a moment without speaking. Cordelia was still staring daggers at her, but Holliday swore she almost saw gratitude in her as well. 

“She is safest with you, Cullen.” The dwarf stroked his ego a little as she continued speaking. Stroking a man's ego always did the trick. “Perhaps it is best to let her get out for a bit with you. At least until it is closer to time.” 

“I will allow it this once,” he said with a sigh. “But after this, I beg you to listen to me, Cordelia.” He reached out a hand to his wife and cupped her cheek tenderly. She leaned into his touch, and Holliday was once again the awkward onlooker into their private life. Maker's breath, how did this keep happening to her? 

“I love you so much,” he told her. The affection and care he had for her friend was obvious, and Holliday found herself smiling at the sweet moment. “I only want what is best for you, for  _ both _ of you.”

Cordelia nodded silently, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. Holliday chose that moment to disappear, wanting to let those two have a moment alone without her intruding. 

After watching that, she had a letter to write to her own man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so bad and I know it XD
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	29. The Return of Krem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He comes back from his time on the Storm Coast, and I have to make sure I look perfect before going to meet him. As always though, other have to interfere.

_ Dear Ser Cremisius Aclassi, _ __  
  


_ I'm happy to know things are going well on the Storm Coast. I hate to hear that Dalish got hurt while killing Venatori, but at least Stitches was there to fix her up. Tell Rocky I miss our chats as well. Oh, and I'm glad Skinner got to kill so many shems. I know that makes her happy. I miss getting my hands dirty, but Cordelia wouldn't think of letting me leave Skyhold with the baby coming so soon. And as for Grim, I guess tell him I miss his constant staring. Andraste's tits, just tell him whatever you think would be nice. Maker knows someone needs to be nice to him. He's probably secretly a king, or a murderer. Either one. Damn, I’m rambling again. _

_ As for you, dearest Krem. I miss you most of all. Be safe out there. My scouts tell me you are doing an excellent job, but I knew you would.  _

_ There's several casks of mead awaiting your return. Come back to me soon.  _ __  
  


_ Sincerely, _ __  
  


_ Christy Holliday, Spymaster of the Inquisition  _

_ ***** _

_ Ma'am, _

 

_ I'm sorry my last letter was so short. Chief was dragging us off to another cave filled with spiders. Did I ever mention Dalish hates spiders? Let's just say it didn't go well, and she accidentally hit Rocky with with a fire ~~spell~~ arrow. His beard will grow back in eventually though.  _

_ I do have some good news for you. Chief says we are done out here and can return to Skyhold. It's the best news I have heard in weeks. This place hasn't gotten any less dreary since the first time we met Her Worship on these Blighted shores.  _

_ Get those pints ready. We will be home soon.  _

 

_ Love, _

 

_ Krem _

 

_ P.S. I miss you more than anything in all of Thedas.  _

 

*****

Holliday grinned as she folded the note once more and tucked it away safely. The signal fires from the base of the mountain had gone up, alerting Skyhold that Bull and the Chargers had returned. She had been using the last hour to pull out all the stops for Krem’s return. 

A smug smile lit her face as she put the finishing touches on her hair and makeup, stepping back to admire her reflection in the floor length mirror against the wall of her room.

“Flawless,” she assured as she blew herself a kiss in the mirror. Her perfectly polished Inquisition armour displayed the glowing eye on her breast plate, buckles gleaming from the sunlight spilling through the windows. Her blonde hair fell in soft curls around her face, and blue eyes were accented by the tasteful powder and lipstick she had applied. She wanted to look beautiful, but not like some girl working in the Blooming Rose. She had done her job to the letter, and she was proud. 

The dress Cordelia had wanted her to wear was tossed carelessly on the bed. She hadn't even tried it on. “Krem doesn't want some prissy flower to wilt in his arms. We are warriors, not daisies.” Though the probability of her falling apart the moment she saw him was still there. That was why she was still stuck in her rotunda, and not waiting in the courtyard with everyone else. She had to ensure everything was in order before going to meet her man. 

“Heartbreaker, you can't hide in here forever.” She paused as Varric's muffled voice called from behind the heavy wooden door. A string of colorful curses left her mouth as she stomped over to let him in. 

“What do you want?” she growled as he held his hands up in defense. Now wasn't the time for interruptions. 

“Come on HB, calm down. You're acting worse than that time Bertrand sold you out to the Crows.”

“Sorry, Varric,” she sighed as she stepped back to let him enter. “I guess I'm just...nervous.” She would have never admitted that to anyone but her oldest friend. Weakness was not something she could stand for. But despite her best efforts, Krem just had the effect on her. 

“Well now that you stated the obvious,” chuckled Varric before she shot him an angry glare. “Listen, I know this is tough for you. I mean your longest relationship was with a married man. And that didn't exactly end well-” 

If looks could have killed, Varric would be a smoldering pile of ash after what he said. He saw Holliday finger the dagger at her side as she frowned at him, and he decided to try a different approach before she relieved him of a few body parts. “Ok so you like this Krem guy.  _ A lot. _ I have never seen you act this way with anyone else. But seriously, what's gotten into you?” 

“Well he's been gone for several months. I just wanted to make sure he remembers exactly what he was missing while he was gone,” she said with a sultry grin as she indicated herself with a wave of her hand. Varric barely restrained a laugh at her words. But he had to admit, she did look damn good. Most of the men in Skyhold would be staring when she walked out. 

“You just need to relax and be your normal-  _ charming _ self. He liked that enough before, didn't he? Go out there and let things happen. As long as you don't throw any daggers, everything should be alright.” He smiled encouragingly as he clapped a hand on her shoulder. Oddly enough, his awkward pep talk actually did make her feel calmer. 

“I guess you are right,” she grumbled knowing she would never hear the end of that admission. 

“Of course I am! This is me we are talking about.” They both had a good laugh at his words, and she silently thanked the Maker for Varric’s interruption. 

“Now we better get going. Lover boy and his band of merry men will be here any moment, and the Inquisitor will have my hide if I don't bring you back with me.” 

Of course Cordelia had sent him to fetch her. The Inquisitor was the only real friend she had besides Varric. Holliday would have to thank her later, right after she playfully berated her for interfering in her love-life. 

“Hey Varric,” she called as he paused in the doorway. 

“Yeah, Heartbreaker?” he said as he turned back to her with an eyebrow raised in question. 

“Thanks.” 

He only smiled at nodded as Holliday followed behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters are a special surprise. I hope everyone enjoys!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> SS


	30. Creme de la Krem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Krem here. Don't tell ma'am but, I decided to add my own part into these next few chapters. Maker's breath, it feels good to be back at Skyhold.

I knew we were getting closer to Skyhold. It wasn't just the air getting colder as we climbed the mountain trail. Or the distant sounds of people scattering around the keep, going about their day. It wasn't even the smell of bread being baking in the kitchen. No. It was so much more than that. A feeling deep inside that called to me like nothing else. I felt it in my bones, in my beating heart, and in whatever soul the Maker had seen fit to bless me with, and instead of fighting it I embraced it fully. 

The iron gate was open when we arrived and the Chief strode forward through it with that ridiculously large hammer over his shoulder. It had taken everything I could muster to convince him to wash the blood off of it. 'Intimidation' he had insisted. I had other ideas of who he was trying to impress, but the last thing I wanted to do was tell the Chief I heard him growl the Lady Seeker's name in his sleep.

As the shadow of the entrance fell over me and the Chargers, I looked up to notice the large crowd that was waiting for us. By the Maker, you would think we were heroes and not mercenaries! 

I scanned every face, never once seeing the one I wanted. Holliday was never far from my mind, or my heart for that matter. Though Chief told me often he didn't approve, it was the one time I ignored the big lug's orders. She loved me and I her. He just didn't understand.

"I hope she's not away on business," Rocky sighed beside me as I turned to see his disheartened look. The boys had also grown close to the Spymaster, and they had talked of her a lot while we were on the Storm Coast. They wanted to see her as much as I did, though some of their interest worried me at times.

"I'm sure she's here somewhere," I assured as I patted the dwarf awkwardly on the back. I looked to the others, noticing that Skinner, Stitches, Dalish, and even Grim were wearing identical unhappy looks. 

"Missing something?" came a smooth voice as I whipped around to see the woman in question standing in front of us. How in Andraste's name she did that, I would never know. "Hey baby," she winked with a seductive grin. She looked incredible, and I reacted instinctively when those big blue eyes stared up at me with silent fire.    


I caught her in both arms swiftly and pulled her close. She leaned into me as my head bowed, and her lips were soft as always as I kissed her with the pent up passion of the last few months.    


The boys whistling behind me soon became a roaring sound as the entire crowd did the same. I felt a blush crawl up my cheeks, but Holliday's fingers in my hair distracted me from losing my focus on her.    


"I missed you," she whispered against my lips as the kiss ended.    


"I love you," I replied with a grin.    


"Get a room!" called Chief as he shook his head and headed off for the Rest. The sea of people parted quickly for him, and I knew the Chief well enough to say that the stiff set of his shoulders had nothing to do with me and Holliday. His refusal to say anything to the Seeker was really starting to piss me off.    


"Hey, what is it?" Gentle fingertips on  my cheek turned my face back to Holliday, and she looked concerned as she searched my face for answers. I smiled reassuringly, kissing her quickly before nudging her towards the tower.    


"I will tell you later. But now, we have important business to attend to." She threw me a wink over her shoulder as she giggled. She knew what I wanted, and the casks in the Rest were just going to have to wait.

  


×××××

Sorry ladies and gentleman, but there are some things you don't get to see ;-)

×××××

  
"So, what you are saying is Bull has a thing for Cassandra?" Holliday had been running her fingertips down my bare arm as we laid in bed, but now she was clutching her sides as she giggled. "You have to know how ridiculous this sounds!"   


"I know," I chuckled in response. "But I know the Chief. He didn't even sleep with any of the tavern girls while we were gone! He's got it bad."    


Holliday's eyes narrowed as she pulled back to look down at me. "Did you sleep with any tavern girls while you were gone?" she questioned.   


" Very funny," I said in a tone that was not amused.    


"Just had to ask." She waved her hand in the air to dismiss the question as she pounced on our earlier discussion once more. "Well since Bull is being stubborn, we have to help him along." Her eyes had that bright blue fire in them that always made me shiver with worry.    


"Ma'am, I don't think that is a good-" I began before she cut me off.    


"Of course you don't," she said absently as she slid off the bed and began to get dressed. "I however, think it is an excellent idea. And I'm going to need your help, so come on! There is no time to waste!" She was getting excited as she spoke, and I inwardly groaned as I crawled out of bed to find my shirt. Holliday may have been skilled, but I had a bad feeling this wasn't going to end well.


End file.
